A question that I can ponder over for hours. Is it saying ‘we are in a relationship’? Is it the person we expect to fulfill all our needs?

I once read somewhere that we define our relationships by who we are having sex with. It’s quite a monogamous approach.

There seems to be quite the hierarchy, where a relationship with someone is the aim to strive for, and for many with marriage as the pinnacle of it all.

That discounts the value of friendships I think.

Do I love my friends less than my partners or my lovers? Is sex the thing that makes something more special?

I guess love is infinite, but resources are scarce. Time, energy, money to spend on dates or holidays – they will all be limiting at some point.

So who to share them with?

I have noticed many times that when there is a relationship, definitely when it’s in the hormonal throws of the beginning (but also for the anxious leaning preoccupied mind) to spend a lot of my resources on that relationship, and to forget about friendships a bit.

I’m also noticing a change coming in slowly, where I want to consciously and deliberately invest resources in friendships. But also: to challenge those lines between friends, lovers, and partners.

What are your thoughts on these things?