It seems to me that the solution for every relationship challenge is really simple: to ask for the need that is underlying the emotional response, whether that’s safety, a hug, being heared or something else.

That doesn’t mean relationship challenges are easy to deal with. It takes understanding of our own responses, the insight to understand the underlying need, and the skill to communicate that. At the other end it takes the capacity to listen despite being triggered.

And at both ends it needs the skill of being vulnerable, brave and humble to come back together again.