The Pain of Losing Presence

We live in a dual world. When we learn what it’s like to be received in full presence, we inherently also learn what it’s like when that full presence is gone.

When this other, who is so present with you, suddenly is gone. Doesn’t show up. Breaks an agreement. Can’t see you fully.

The pain that comes with that is huge. It reminds us of the original wound of separation that goes back to when we were inside a womb – or possibly before that.

The pain that reminds us, maybe unconsciously, of the moments when we were fully depending on our caregivers, and they couldn’t be there every moment we needed them. As that’s pretty much impossible.

And then, when someone enters your life who is showing or reminding you of how present someone actually can be with you, how deeply loved you can feel, how deeply seen, welcomed and connected you can be…

Inevitably this deep, tearing pain of separation will be included too.

As they will be gone. Not be there. Break a promise.

It’s okay to mourn that pain. To feel the grief of realizing this deep pain of separation.

To honor your tender heart, as it was cracking open wider again.

You now have tasted this deep love. This presence.

And it will come back.

When you connect to your inner lover.

When you pray to your God/s.

When you meet a beloved.

When you sit with an animal.

When you realize separation isn’t real, and we’re connected. Always.

Original photo credits: Anita Wilhelm

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