Sometimes it feels to me that all the offers of self-help books, transformational workshops, and life-changing life coaches want to promise us exactly that: life is an experience of an ever-increasing ride of growth and joy, while all excess trauma, negative beliefs, and limiting ideas will decrease until none is left.

I’m sorry to spoil the party, but in my experience life simply doesn’t work that way.

As we live our life from day to day, misery hits us. We get sick. Friends die, sometimes way too young and after horrible disease. We experience traumatic events, suppression, exclusion, and shaming. Things that add to our account of what we care about us and what impacts our emotions, thoughts, and actions every day.

The work is ongoing, rough, and not rarely with backlashes and setbacks.

You may be promised that this item infused with divine codings will change everything. Listening to channelings, that one retreat, that specific plant medicine journey or by staying near to your favorite guru (and ignoring the abusive sides).

It doesn’t work that way. There is no shortcut to enlightenment (if that even exists). No place of happiness and bliss is permanent (which is good as it would wreck your nervous system).

If your last fifteen months were anything like mine, you may have had the experience too that a magnifying glass has been put on your beliefs and your connections. It hasn’t been easy, and it still isn’t. My life is definitely not at its highest peak of joy and happiness right now. There have been higher peaks. It feels disappointing in a way, especially when I compare my life to that of others (that often are very privileged and just may be bypassing a thing or two – although they often sell their spirituality for a high price).

And right now I’m realizing: this is simply how a human life goes. There’s ups and downs and there is nothing we can do but accept that it reality. Anything that promotes bliss, ease, magical profits, perfect love, or a struggle-free life is bypassing. Telling others they could have a life like that is abusive and only feeding their insecurities (because when they face hardship it’s their own fault according to the teachings).

What to do? Live graciously with all the directions you move in. Understand shortcuts to healing and happiness do not exist. Nothing is permanent, and this is a normal human experience.

The video is a more personal sharing about these processes in my own life.