The Fine Line between Things to Face & Boundaries

One of the most common pitfalls in the field of personal growth that I see is the belief that we have to face everything that triggers a response in us. After doing my research, I concluded this is absolute nonsense. Not everything we face is a challenge to overcome. Some things are a boundary, and we can say a loud and clear ‘no’ to the experience. Sometimes it can be a fine line whether something is a challenge or fear worth facing, or when it’s a boundary. I’m using my rollercoaster-analogy to explain how I feel the difference between what I do and don’t want to face.

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Sexual Nourishment – with Reid Mihalko

Join Reid Mihalko and me as we talk about s.xual nourishment, where we share some of our personal backgrounds around nourishment, as well as an overview of different ways of finding s.xual nourishment (hint: it’s not just about touching yourself) right at the end. We’re also mentioning our events in December. The first one is Date Your Species – with Reid Mihalko & Wilrieke Sophia.  

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The Epicness of Love – with Monique Darling

I’m meeting with one of the people I love most in the world, Monique darling, at the marriage of our shared friends Eugene Hedlund and Fia Forstrom. Looking at the big love surrounding us, we share about the epicness of Love.

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Moving through Emotional Rough Patches

Whether it’s the planets, karma, ancestral healing or simply life as it is. This week is moving a lot in me. Sending all of you who are in some sort of a rough spot so much love. I love you. You are lovable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

B-SMART

  Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we’re almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we’re afraid of rejection? Because we have no idea how to ask for what we want? There are many components to why communication around intimacy is not that easy. For people coming to my intimate spaces I’ve created an abbreviation: B-SMART. It covers all the basic information I found out I want to know before moving into any intimate interaction with another person. ⇝ We actually practice these conversations in my play parties, and though people fear their awkwardness, they often turn out to be the most…

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Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

Open relating can be an escape from exploring deeper within (I wrote about it on my blog, just do a search for ‘polyamory’ on my website) – connecting with many can be an escape from facing fears. But connecting with multiple people can also be a deep dive into creating a more secure attachment system. A sharing of my current personal explorations.

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To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved,   Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me.   Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers – or something in between and it may change every day.   You’re not my partner As I am my own main ally I need to learn to hold myself When I’m celebrating and when I’m afraid.   Yes, I am desiring a King Someone to stand next to me and to sit on the throne that stands next to mine.   I dust it off every now and then, but I don’t rush to fill it as it…

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Today I choose to not be small

My love, Today I choose not to be small. I choose to unfold all the little parts of me that desire to stretch and come alive. My choosing does not mean you have to step aside, or make yourself small instead. No, my love. I’m asking you to stand beside me, with your arms open and your eyes clear. You see, me choosing not to be small has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, too much, too little, or holding me back. Though you did so in the past. I guess I scared you. With this big heart, high amplitude emotions and a way of feeling deep. But you know, the world doesn’t need me to…

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(Video) The Patterns in Insecure Relating

Patterns in relating

The players may change, but the play stays the same. Have you ever noticed that? Even though you may be working on yourself, some patterns in your relationship game seen to stay. I’m mainly anxiously attached, with a wired-in fear of abandonment. During a week long retreat I was in, I got my patterns played out loud and clear. In my face.

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