The Fine Line between Things to Face & Boundaries

One of the most common pitfalls in the field of personal growth that I see is the belief that we have to face everything that triggers a response in us. After doing my research, I concluded this is absolute nonsense. Not everything we face is a challenge to overcome. Some things are a boundary, and we can say a loud and clear ‘no’ to the experience. Sometimes it can be a fine line whether something is a challenge or fear worth facing, or when it’s a boundary. I’m using my rollercoaster-analogy to explain how I feel the difference between what I do and don’t want to face.

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Sexual Nourishment – with Reid Mihalko

Join Reid Mihalko and me as we talk about s.xual nourishment, where we share some of our personal backgrounds around nourishment, as well as an overview of different ways of finding s.xual nourishment (hint: it’s not just about touching yourself) right at the end. We’re also mentioning our events in December. The first one is Date Your Species – with Reid Mihalko & Wilrieke Sophia.  

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Balance is in the Extremes

To me, balance isn’t a steady state. Balance rather is the ‘average’ of extremes. Being introvert and extrovert. Being shy and outgoing. Bringing the kids to school, and traveling the world giving kinky workshops. Just to name a few..  

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The Epicness of Love – with Monique Darling

I’m meeting with one of the people I love most in the world, Monique darling, at the marriage of our shared friends Eugene Hedlund and Fia Forstrom. Looking at the big love surrounding us, we share about the epicness of Love.

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Moving through Emotional Rough Patches

Whether it’s the planets, karma, ancestral healing or simply life as it is. This week is moving a lot in me. Sending all of you who are in some sort of a rough spot so much love. I love you. You are lovable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

B-SMART

  Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we’re almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we’re afraid of rejection? Because we have no idea how to ask for what we want? There are many components to why communication around intimacy is not that easy. For people coming to my intimate spaces I’ve created an abbreviation: B-SMART. It covers all the basic information I found out I want to know before moving into any intimate interaction with another person. ⇝ We actually practice these conversations in my play parties, and though people fear their awkwardness, they often turn out to be the most…

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“Meditate every Day for Ten Minutes. Unless You have No Time…”

Riding with Benthe

  ‘Meditate ten minutes every day. Unless you’re busy. Then meditate an hour.’ It’s so easy to cut down on self-care, slowing down, you-time. Don’t. You’re the most important resource that you have. And even if you don’t have time: Stop. Take a deep breathe. Look at a tree, a plant in your office, or this photo. Put a hand on your hard. Take another deep breathe. Notice gravity. Feel your hand. Welcome back. Photo was taken last week horseriding in the Dutch jungle. Unfiltered in all possible ways.

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About Attracting Unavailable Partners

Availability

Attracting unavailable partners… It’s a pattern! I have written about it before: I’m so tired of attracting unavailable people. And also, what is emotional availability anyway? But: if there’s a pattern, there’s something to learn. What’s in this for me?

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