When a Saboteur Enters our Relationships

I let him go. I had never been loved this much by anyone in my life, and yet I let him go. I had no choice. My nervous system was having a way harder time than I desired, and the longer we were together, the less relaxed I felt about our relationship. Was it me? Was this then the final conclusion I’m not suited for non-monogamy or any way of relating for that matter? Was I an overly dramatic woman unable to deal with anxiety issues? Was it him? Was he lacking in stepping up? Did he need to grow balls and become a real man, able to love a wild woman? It’s Always Two Playing that Game When it…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Where do I Base My Boundaries On?

David & Wilrieke

In any human dynamic, certain patterns will come up. And those patterns will influence how you feel and how you act. Where do you base your boundaries and desires upon? And what to do when yours are different than those of your partner?

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Don’t Live In a Box

Those days where I feel unhappy, stuck and trapped, I notice I’ve been putting myself in a box again. It’s a thing. A paradoxical thing. Humans like to put their world into boxes. Other humans, their calendar, their work, their relationship, their sexuality, other connections to other humans… I noticed that when I boxed myself heterosexual I felt weird about feeling attracted to women. Feeling stuck in a worldview where it didn’t make sense to like other than men. But when I discovered that queers make my knees shake, bisexuality felt like a limiting option too. I had exchanged one box for another, and again I felt stuck, trapped and didn’t understand myself. So I stepped out of the sexuality…

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Conscious Relationship Design: Different Ways in Which we Love Each Other (video)

What if you express your love to your partner(s), and they feel attacked or frustrated? We have different ways of expressing love to others, and without realizing this, your attempts to come closer might draw you further away from each other. David and I share about our processes of loving each other and getting to know each other’s love language.  

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I’m an Intimacy Coach (and Society calls me a Sex Worker)

I'm an intimacy coach

Society calls me a s*x worker. And that’s okay, although what I bring is not just that. I don’t f€ck my clients. I don’t even kiss them. But I’m very intimate with them. For some of them it’s the first time in years. Sometimes the first time ever. They teach me… They teach me about the innocence of desire. The longing to connect sincerely. They also teach me how they suppress their fire, their desire to ravish. How insecure they often feel about their body and their genital area. I teach them… That it’s all okay. That their insecurity as well as their list is part of their humanness. That I love to feel their lust and desire within the…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Dealing with Triggers

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

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Conscious Relationship Design: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

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How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

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It’s Alright to Feel Overwhelmed, Confused and Heart Broken

Baby it's alright

Sometimes it is just there. The not-knowing, the confusion, the overwhelm and the heart break.   It’s alright, baby. Nothing to fix or heal. Nothing to push away or avoid.   You know, we cannot always be the strong and certain about each step to take. There’s no game we have to play, no mask we should put on. We can be real. Even when that includes tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving black traces of your earlier carefully applied mascara. Let the image people have of you, and maybe more the one you have of yourself, crumble. You’re not here to fit a mold, to keep up appearances.   The invitation that your soul and heart brought along is…

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