Sitting with Overwhelmed Children

Eight years ago on this night, I wasn’t sleeping. My body was feeling the contractions of my third child coming. The Little Pirate was on her way. Her birth was special. It was calm, peaceful, fast. Just like her sisters, she came out of my womb on a stool in front of the fridge in our kitchen. No pain killers, all-natural, her father sitting behind me and a nurse to guide her straight into my arms. She didn’t cry. She just came out at her pace, we looked each other in the eyes, and all was well. Tonight she did cry. Her middle sister too. We’re right in crazy-week. Tomorrow is her birthday. The day after it’s Sinterklaas, maybe the…

Continue reading

Do I really want what I think I want?

Lately, I’m enjoying entertaining myself contemplating if I really want what I think I want. I think I know about all the things that I want, and I enjoy time meditating as if what I want is there. You know, the first step in the Law of Attraction, right before taking conscious action towards these dreams. But do I really want what I think I want? Take the example of attracting a romantic partner. Around me, I have quite a bunch of amazing, single, female friends. We all want a similar thing: a conscious man, adventurous, tantricly experienced, amazing lover, hot body, and maybe some nicely placed tattoos and piercings. A man who is beyond the nice guy pitfalls, who…

Continue reading

What Does it Mean to Hold Someone?

To hold space. To be there for someone. What is that, what does it mean? To me, it means being fully present with someone, without wanting to change anything. It’s dropping my agenda about what they need to feel, understand, go through, drop, invite or change. It’s offering my heart, wide open, and ask for nothing on return. It’s letting go of my own desires while keeping my boundaries in check. It’s allowing the process to unfold without wanting it to move in any certain direction. It’s being able to drop taking any of the process personal. To drop the idea that I’m decreasing or increasing the depth of the process. It’s not about me. It’s being patient, taking the…

Continue reading

“Meditate every Day for Ten Minutes. Unless You have No Time…”

Riding with Benthe

  ‘Meditate ten minutes every day. Unless you’re busy. Then meditate an hour.’ It’s so easy to cut down on self-care, slowing down, you-time. Don’t. You’re the most important resource that you have. And even if you don’t have time: Stop. Take a deep breathe. Look at a tree, a plant in your office, or this photo. Put a hand on your hard. Take another deep breathe. Notice gravity. Feel your hand. Welcome back. Photo was taken last week horseriding in the Dutch jungle. Unfiltered in all possible ways.

Continue reading

I am Love

Whatever you do Whoever you are There will be implications. As you embrace more of your own juiciness, power, explicitness, and beauty – the stronger the responses will be. The cheering ánd the judging. The projections will increase exponentially. When you look grumpy, the world understands. When you look happy, the world thinks you’re crazy. (so darn spot on, Eugene) The more you create from the heart and belly, The more people will resonate and cheer Or shunt. Or ‘borrow’ your stuff more often without consent and credits than with. It’s probably how the world always worked And will continue working. Breathing through it all. Witnessing my inner parts feeling triggered, relax, wanting to be loved and seen for what I…

Continue reading

We’re In This Together

You know, dear one, You might feel alone out there, on your path of life. Knowing that what the people around you do is not the kind of passionate living that you ambition. You probably feel the strong pull of going beyond imaginary boundaries of right, wrong, and decent. Your soul is calling you in for wild adventures, breaking glass ceilings, and being free. For living beyond what you thought possible, beyond what teachers in school ever taught you. Beyond ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ Rich and famous aren’t good enough. You know there’s more. You feel it deep inside and it’s crystal clear. But the fears and doubts feel so real too. They teach…

Continue reading

(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Dealing with Triggers

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

Continue reading

How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

Continue reading

Kambo – My Journey with the Frog (part 1)

Kambo frog

My first encounter with Kambo was some months ago. I was having dark days. It was a time of big changes and I felt the call to cleanse my body and soul with more than lemon water and meditation. The relationship I had with the father of my kids ended after nine years. Connections I had with other men disappeared one by one – the cleansing apparently started there already. My focus shifted from a focus on social interactions to finding a new balance as a single mother and upgrading my business. And processing all the things that happened. What does a shaman look like? I was expecting an older, tanned man with black hair. Speaking some kind of Spanish…

Continue reading

Why I don’t try to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity.

Why I try not to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity. And why you shouldn't too.

And why you shouldn’t too. When I am going through processes of growth, some days are better than others. On good days it’s often not so difficult to love myself. But when days are tougher, and I feel a longing for connection with, or approval from others. I feel needy, afraid and insecure. On top of that i feel judgment: i shouldn’t feel like this. i should be beyond this, I’ve dealt with this. I want to get rid of what I feel. That’s the most counterproductive strategy of dealing with what is going on inside me. I this video I share, on a tough day, how I deal with myself.

Continue reading