What Does it Mean to Hold Someone?

To hold space. To be there for someone. What is that, what does it mean? To me, it means being fully present with someone, without wanting to change anything. It’s dropping my agenda about what they need to feel, understand, go through, drop, invite or change. It’s offering my heart, wide open, and ask for nothing on return. It’s letting go of my own desires while keeping my boundaries in check. It’s allowing the process to unfold without wanting it to move in any certain direction. It’s being able to drop taking any of the process personal. To drop the idea that I’m decreasing or increasing the depth of the process. It’s not about me. It’s being patient, taking the…

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“Meditate every Day for Ten Minutes. Unless You have No Time…”

Riding with Benthe

  ‘Meditate ten minutes every day. Unless you’re busy. Then meditate an hour.’ It’s so easy to cut down on self-care, slowing down, you-time. Don’t. You’re the most important resource that you have. And even if you don’t have time: Stop. Take a deep breathe. Look at a tree, a plant in your office, or this photo. Put a hand on your hard. Take another deep breathe. Notice gravity. Feel your hand. Welcome back. Photo was taken last week horseriding in the Dutch jungle. Unfiltered in all possible ways.

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I am Love

Whatever you do Whoever you are There will be implications. As you embrace more of your own juiciness, power, explicitness, and beauty – the stronger the responses will be. The cheering ánd the judging. The projections will increase exponentially. When you look grumpy, the world understands. When you look happy, the world thinks you’re crazy. (so darn spot on, Eugene) The more you create from the heart and belly, The more people will resonate and cheer Or shunt. Or ‘borrow’ your stuff more often without consent and credits than with. It’s probably how the world always worked And will continue working. Breathing through it all. Witnessing my inner parts feeling triggered, relax, wanting to be loved and seen for what I…

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We’re In This Together

You know, dear one, You might feel alone out there, on your path of life. Knowing that what the people around you do is not the kind of passionate living that you ambition. You probably feel the strong pull of going beyond imaginary boundaries of right, wrong, and decent. Your soul is calling you in for wild adventures, breaking glass ceilings, and being free. For living beyond what you thought possible, beyond what teachers in school ever taught you. Beyond ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ Rich and famous aren’t good enough. You know there’s more. You feel it deep inside and it’s crystal clear. But the fears and doubts feel so real too. They teach…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Dealing with Triggers

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

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How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

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Kambo – My Journey with the Frog (part 1)

Kambo frog

My first encounter with Kambo was some months ago. I was having dark days. It was a time of big changes and I felt the call to cleanse my body and soul with more than lemon water and meditation. The relationship I had with the father of my kids ended after nine years. Connections I had with other men disappeared one by one – the cleansing apparently started there already. My focus shifted from a focus on social interactions to finding a new balance as a single mother and upgrading my business. And processing all the things that happened. What does a shaman look like? I was expecting an older, tanned man with black hair. Speaking some kind of Spanish…

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Why I don’t try to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity.

Why I try not to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity. And why you shouldn't too.

And why you shouldn’t too. When I am going through processes of growth, some days are better than others. On good days it’s often not so difficult to love myself. But when days are tougher, and I feel a longing for connection with, or approval from others. I feel needy, afraid and insecure. On top of that i feel judgment: i shouldn’t feel like this. i should be beyond this, I’ve dealt with this. I want to get rid of what I feel. That’s the most counterproductive strategy of dealing with what is going on inside me. I this video I share, on a tough day, how I deal with myself.

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This Elusive Now

This elusive now

There are so many moments which are not now, and just this fraction of time ‘now’. Gone as soon as you realize it’s here. And in this continuum of now’s, passing by so swiftly, in the same time so much is happening! The whole world is happening within it. It’s tangible, yet elusive. Sometimes my thoughts drift away and it feels I missed a whole bunch of now’s. Sometimes so many people are expectant, disappointed, hopeful or happy in my presence that the now we share seems endless. Sometimes I feel there aren’t enough moments of now, and sometimes I can’t wait until the moments between me and a moment in the future have passed. Maybe it’s the only thing…

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(Poem #16) I am the Observer

The Observer

Feelings raging through No beginning or end No reasons or explanation Like the stillness in the eye of the storm I am the observer.   Tears streaming Shoulders shaking A smile breaks through Like the sun in a June morning – always present I am the observer.   Insecurity screaming Doubts wondering Who am I To me be Yet here I am I am the observer.   Distractions tempting Seeking confirmation Of existence Like a little child, wanting to be let in I am the observer.   Deep inside Where nothing ever changes Holding space For everything That’s where I am I am the observer.

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