Open relationships: How much do you tell?

No matter if you keep your open relationship clothes-on or clothes-off, it’s very important to discuss how much you want you and your partner to tell each other. Discuss before practicing! It is very important to have the conversation about how much details you want to share with each other before you start connecting with new people. When you involve yourself into stuff without knowing that your partner really likes to know about new steps you are about to make on beforehand, you have no second chances. If you only tell your partner afterwards, or worse, when your partner finds out afterwards, your partner might never trust you again. Is that worth it? All dirty details What if your partner…

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In love, 1+1 is much more than 2

Mathematically 1+1 equals 2. If you have a certain amount of something and you wish to divide that amount with a number of people, everybody gets a part. When more people join the party, the portion of the pie each person receives reduces. Young parents love their newborn kids more than they could ever imagine. When a second baby is about to arrive, it is a common fear that they could never love the second child as much as this first child. After the second child is born they realise that their worry was needless. They love their second, third and all following children just as much as they love the first one. Love ≠mathematics Love is not like mathematics at…

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Did you laugh today?

What are the things that really make you laugh? Your kids, a cute puppy, watching Monty Pyton on television? You may be able to laugh about yourself. Maybe you can just laugh without a cause. Laughing is healthy Laughing is a very healthy thing to do. While laughing, you activate more than a hundred muscles throughout your body. More oxygen flows to your body’s cells, the bronchia are ventilated, catabolic processes are advanced, muscles relax, the heart and circulation are stimulated. Your brain stops producing stress hormones and starts producing hormones like dopamin, endorphins and serotonin, hormones that relax your body and mind and give you a happy feeling. There is even research that indicates laughing stimulates the immune system and…

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What is unconditional love?

You know what love is, right? It’s that tingling feeling you feel for people that really touch your heart. Your kids, close friends… There are also things you love. Cars, hiking, watching television. You can also love an animal or the view from your balcony. Clearly, there are different kinds of love. For all types of love there is one common thing: love can be conditional or unconditional. Types of love The way you love you children or your partner differs from the way you love your favorite television program. But the way you love your children also differs from the way you love your best mate. I borrow a text my friend Koreen Clements wrote on this topic (I recommend her…

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Do I have to change myself?

There are things I want differently in my life. I want myself to grow and develop. I wish for changes. But changing is something I’d rather avoid. Can I change myself and my life without changing? Guess what will happen when you do what you always did. You get what you always got. If you really want change, you have to change. You have to be the change. But changing is scary! What’s the worst thing that can happen? Your life will change? But that’s what you want! 😉 We all have this imaginary space around us, called our comfort zone. As long as we stay inside that comfort zone, we feel safe. We know what’s in there, we know…

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Love isn’t a competition, it’s additive

Think this over for a while: Is love something which comes at certain volumes that need to be shared among the people around you? Or is there enough for everybody? Many times I have heard parents telling me about the love they feel for their kids. When expecting their second child, young parents often worry whether they would have enough love for their expected newborn. They love their first kid so much, how could they love another child just as much? When the second child is born, they realize there is nothing to worry about. There is enough love for all kids. Love isn’t a pie of which all people around you get a share. Love is an unlimited source…

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How many compromises will you make?

According to Wikipedia, to compromise means to … make a deal between different parties where each party gives up part of their demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. In other words, you give up what you really want because people surrounding you want you to. Or, you give up what you really want because you believe people surrounding you want you to. We are usually taught that compromises are an inescapable part of our relationships. I do not agree 🙂 We need compromises when we feel insecure about ourselves and our loved ones. We compromise we should not be affectionate…

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Does love at first sight exist?

Can you love someone the moment you look him or her into the eyes for the very first time? Let’s go back in time to the point when we were young and watched Disney movies. We all did, didn’t we? We watched Lady and the Tramp, Beauty and the Beast and several fairy tales where the prince kisses the princess. The message seemed to be that for each and everyone of us there is a perfect partner, a once in a lifetime Mr(s). Right to wait for. Or to actively, maybe desperately, look for. And when we would meet the person, we’d know. It would be love at first sight. What a sad belief that is! If there is only…

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My open relationship

We all look for love. We all look for excitement. How can we keep our need for exciting moments fulfilled when we are in a long term relationship where we hold back ourselves and our partners, trying to fit in the picture society created of people and their relationships? All people seem to be looking for the perfect partner. Dating sites are very popular, although old fashioned flirting in disco’s and bars never ceased popularity either. Girls gossip with their friends about boys, and the boys pay attention carefully. Who will ask who to go to the prom? Who dares to ask for a secret kiss? Who is getting married? Finally… we meet our perfect match. The ideal man or…

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Life is fun

What is the meaning of life? Why are we on earth, why do we exist? Are we here to suffer? Watching television, reading the newspapers or glossy magazines, it seems that, indeed, we are here to get hurt. To feel pain. We read about war, about homicide. We watch programs where there might be one winner at the cost of many losers. We feel ourselves less miserable because there are so many others more miserable than we are. Everything is a choice. We choose how we feel. We choose the rain to influence our mood. Or we smile, independent of any kind of weather. We choose to watch tv, to read magazines full of gossip and judging stories about celebrities. It’s…

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