(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Dealing with Triggers

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

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Conscious Relationship Design: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

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How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

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It’s Alright to Feel Overwhelmed, Confused and Heart Broken

Baby it's alright

Sometimes it is just there. The not-knowing, the confusion, the overwhelm and the heart break.   It’s alright, baby. Nothing to fix or heal. Nothing to push away or avoid.   You know, we cannot always be the strong and certain about each step to take. There’s no game we have to play, no mask we should put on. We can be real. Even when that includes tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving black traces of your earlier carefully applied mascara. Let the image people have of you, and maybe more the one you have of yourself, crumble. You’re not here to fit a mold, to keep up appearances.   The invitation that your soul and heart brought along is…

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What I learned in the year after breaking up my long-term relationship

What I learned in the year after breaking up my long-term relationship

Once we thought we would stay together for life. And in a way, we will, since we have three daughters. But not in a romantic relationship. About twelve months ago we broke up. It felt like facing my deepest fears. It felt like dying. And maybe I did in a way, as the last year transformed me completely. No more happily ever after We were so convinced we were going to make it through life together. Even though I got pregnant only months after we met, we hardly had any money, and I didn’t finish studying. I never had a long-term relationship before. I never was pregnant before. It all felt so new. He was my rock to depend on.…

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What is Emotional Availability Anyway? (video)

The false belief that women don’t like sex (and the ones who do are scary)

In my last article, I spoke about being tired of attracting emotionally unavailable men. I received many questions about the topic. What do I want from men? Is it all his fault? And most of all: what does it mean, to be emotionally available of unavailable? To me, emotional unavailability is not, like, a judgment towards this particular man (and men before him). But a mismatch in what our desires are when it comes to emotional/physical/etc availability. And that mismatch, because I wanted more than he, felt like a lack/unavailability to me. What I want to say, is that the amount of availability we all need differs and that it can feel like unavailability to the one with the larger desire…

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I’m so Tired of Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men (video)

Tired of Attracting Emotional Unavailable Men

Originally posted on Elephant Journal. Dear Lover, Or should I say former lover? Ex-lover? I thought that when I let go of you, I was letting go of love: Of that luscious feeling of being held in a warm blanket of never-ending cuddles and soft, smooching kisses, of butterflies, and feeling as blissful as I did looking into your eyes. But you know what happened? It feels like I lifted those rose-tinted glasses from my eyes and see the world more like it is: You and me as the people who we are in this moment—and not the fantasy I had of who we could be together. It happens, right? That when two people meet they only see the beauty in each other.…

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(Poem #19) Today I Choose

today I choose to live

Today I choose to bow my head from respect instead of ignorance, as I acknowledge all that is happening as an opportunity for growth, even if it’s unpleasant. Today I choose pain over suffering, as it is my choice to hold on to whatever hurts me – or to feel and let go. Today I choose to dance and sing, as it frees me more than it scares me. Today I choose to be gentle and soft with myself, as I realize it’s my responsibility to take care of me. Today I choose courage over fear, as walking the unknown path is more exciting than sitting still in a safe haven. Today I choose love over hate, as opening my…

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(Poem #18) You There in the Mirror

You there in the mirror

Hey you, you there in the mirror, Reflecting me in all my facets. Sparkling painfully bright, Hurting my eyes And my heart. And yes, it cracks further open Allowing more light But casting darker shadows I didn’t see before. Hey you, you there in the mirror, My own reflection Or your own person reminding me Of all the flaws and perfection But most of all: The courage that it takes to be alive This neverending alchemistic process Of turning anything into gold. It’s true. Everything can turn into gold, and gold can turn into anything. Let’s celebrate the pain and the joy The bliss and despair But most of all acknowledge that courage To take another step, To tumble down…

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How Many of Your Friends Did You See – Naked?


Naked. Think about it: How many of your dearest friends have seen you naked? Of how many of your closest friends to you know if they have a soft skin? Or moles on their bellies, or freckles of their shoulders? How many of your closest family members have you seen naked? Do you know the shape of their breasts, or where they have hair? Have you ever seen their scars? Do you even know how they really feel about their bodies? Have you ever held them really close? Have you ever been held by them really close? I’m glowing right now. The afterglow of an evening with three friends, where we massaged each other. Six hands on one body. Naked.…

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