My process of Letting Go

After writing my blog post about Control vs. Letting Go, I started to realize how much need for control I really felt in my life. In the past years I’ve come to let go a whole lot of insecurity and beliefs that made me feel small and ugly. With that release, bit by bit I loosened my need to control other things in my life like what I thought I should do and how I should behave. I could start identifying what I really wanted in my life. I let go of the projected path I created for myself where I would have a fancy high heeled job at some ministry, and decided that a job where I wasn’t allowed…

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Control vs. Letting Go

Life is constantly changing and you cannot predict the future. You cannot predict other people’s behavior. And that’s pretty scary to most of us. In the midst of this chaos we are looking for something to hold onto. Stability. An anchor. And because we feel unable to find this strength within ourselves, we look for it elsewhere. We can try to control things directly linked to us. If we behave in a certain way, this will help us get through the day. We create habits that provide stability. Or at least, we think so. But in fact, these habits are controlling us. We tell ourselves we need to put on make-up before we leave the house. We need to dress…

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The angry little witch in me

There lives a little witch in me and she’s making big fuss. She believes it is her job to protect me from harm and she is doing all she can to keep me safe. But she comes with a cost. Every time she shows her face and starts freaking out I close off. I feel afraid, unsafe and small, and choose to hide away in the safe shelter of my mind. I create walls around me that are unbreakable, unconquerable. But it is lonely in my moat. Feeling safe is a basic for all of us. We want experience love, but we can only love and feel loved when we feel safe. Long time ago, when we roamed the earth…

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Suffering is a choice

Reasons for procrastination and tools to stop doing it

What I love to do when my head is filled with emotions and thoughts is going for a long walk. Surrounded by nature, my body relaxes and my mind calms down. To me, rhythmically putting one foot in front of the other, breathing fresh air and listening to the birds is like a meditation in motion. Today I walked in the dunes for hours. For days my mind felt stuck with fear and emotions. I had been taking care of ill family members for over a week, visiting hospitals, trying to arrange everything, while facing some major fear issues that overwhelmed me in the process. No map, just a feeling of where I wanted to go, I strolled through the…

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Fearless living

To live an abundant, loving life, means choosing a life without fear. It must be something we all wish to do. But how can you choose never to fear again? Is that even possible? Fearing fear It’s not fear itself that frightens us most. It’s fearing fear. The vision of going to a dentist is often much worse than the pain we experience once we are in that chair. The vision of facing a group of people is often much worse than the feeling we get when that crowd applauds for us after our speech. We often base our fears on projections. We think other people will think badly of us. The idea new people won’t like us frightens us.…

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Be brave and live!

It’s not the things we do or experience that confuse us, but our opinions about them. When you are confronted with things that seem weird, tough, difficult or strange… try to look at them with an open mind and an open heart. You might be surprised how life is on the other side. To live without fear or judgement. It’s easy to judge. It’s easy to try to make yourself feel better by being negative about others. But it won’t make you truly happy. It won’t change the situation. It won’t erase the fear. It won’t change your feelings. Each time you encounter a similar situation, similar negative feelings will rise. You will depend on your begative attitude towards others…

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Allow yourself to receive

When there’s a friend in need for help, you are there to help out. But can you ask for help when you long for someone to hold your hand? Is it easier to give a present or to receive one? Would you rather clean a friend’s house or ask a friend to clean your house? Can you give sensual pleasure but also receive it with the same ease? In the ideal situation the amount given = the amount received.  When the amount received exceeds the amount given, you withdraw more energy from other people than giving them, leaving others empty and not fulfilled. More often the balance turns to the other side: people tend to give much more than they…

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Being a sexual person

Being a sexual person

A journey towards complete freedom Sometimes I meet people who I consider to be sexual persons. They don’t need to have the looks of a catalog model. It’s about their appearance, the vibe they broadcast. First of all, these people are totally comfortable in the body they are in. I’ve seen them in many shapes, from pretty young girls to chubby old men. Both tall and short, thick and thin. They all had in common that they radiated. Without exception, these people are beautiful. Just plain beautiful. They all live a life in which they follow their heart. Whether they have a job in a library, grocery store, having their own companies or are famous. They do the things they…

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Healing myself – part 1 and 2

It feels like I’m going through all my chakras to really clear them up from all deep pain and hurt that is still there. Last week on Wednesday Seb and I had our first fight. It was about a misinterpretation of how much we’d tell each other about our openness in relationships. We had an argument but talked things over during the next days and eventually came out stronger than before. But our fight also opened a well of fear. I cried and cried. I felt so unsafe and sad. It was like a major fear from the past wasd triggered. All of a sudden I felt like the little girl in the situations I always had to deal with in…

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