The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

I launched crowdfunding campaign. You might have noticed it. I did expect reactions from people. People who would want to help out, and people who wouldn’t. But I didn’t expect that much reaction from inside me. Is this desire allowed? It all started with a desire. In my case, a desire for space for my own. Our house is small. We have three kids packed in one room, a tiny work space that my partner, his computer and administration files occupy. My space is a desk in the living room. The same living room where my kids play and fight and where people come and go. I’m the kind of person who needs time and space alone to stay sane.…

Continue reading

Men: Why she hates your messages – the brutal truth

Why she hates your messages

This article is based upon my experiences with men contacting me. It’s absolutely generalized. I challenge you read it and to feel what touches you. Do you recognize my experiences? Do you feel triggered or offended? See the next paragraphs as my present to you. I tell you what works for me and the wise, strong, gorgeous women I see around me. Let these paragraphs penetrate you. Is this about you? Keeping violation intact through silence Too many women are silent when they feel offended by men, as well as I’m sure there are men feeling offended by women or other men and keeping their mouths tightly shut. By being silent we keep the vicious circle of hurtful communication and…

Continue reading

Are you a food addict like me?

Are you a food addict like me?

Many of us are addicted to food and we don’t know it. According to Food Addicts Anonymous “Food addiction manifests itself in the uncontrollable craving for excess food that follows the ingestion of refined carbohydrates, primarily sugar and flour substances that are quickly metabolized and turned into sugar in the bloodstream.” Now it wouldn’t be so bad if we could eat that chocolate chip cookies or Ben and Jerry’s Utter Peanut Butter Clutter Cookie Core without consequences, but: “Due to those uncontrollable cravings, a food addict’s quality of life deteriorates when he or she eats sugar, flour or wheat. It can deteriorate physically, emotionally, socially and/or spiritually.” Oh darn. Am I a food addict? I eat healthy, mostly vegan and…

Continue reading

Who’s driving your bus? Three steps to kick out the gremlins and take control of your life

Do you recognize those moments where it feels like you are being lived? That some kind of authority is commanding you to freak out, even though you hardly know why? You look in the mirror and don’t recognize the image of the stamping kid with clenched fists, raging about what s/he’s not getting. He simply asked me for a cup of tea. No more than that. After a long travel to come to see me, he asks me the favor of making him tea. Instead of getting up and giving him something he longs for, I feel rebellion coming up. “Why don’t you get it yourself?” It’s out before I know it. I see the disappointment in his face. The…

Continue reading

Let my heart break into a thousand pieces

“There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” ~ Leonard Cohen. The way the heart grows is by cracking open. Just like an insect breaks through its old skin so it can grow larger, our hearts need to break, to hurt, to crack open before they can grow bigger. To contain more love in our bodies, to be able to feel deeper and more intense, we need to break through the shells of protection that we’ve built around our hearts. Only then our hearts can be free. Life will test you, once you’ve cleared your mind and set your intention on growth and self-liberation. ‘Just how far are you willing to open your heart? Can you take…

Continue reading

How to deal with other people’s emotions

How to deal with other people's emotions

Do you recognize this? You are somewhere where people aren’t feeling very happy. Maybe you’re waiting in a queue for the cash register to pay your groceries. People around you seem to be hurried. They are grumpy, annoyed when someone uses more time than strictly necessary to pay. Or you’re sitting on a train and someone is having an argument over the phone. You feel all your happy feelings leave your body. The muscles in your neck tighten. You clench your jaws. Why are these people doing this to you? Can’t they go somewhere else to express their impatience or anger? During a day there are many moments where you are exposed to the feelings, emotions and behavior of other…

Continue reading

Control vs. Letting Go

Life is constantly changing and you cannot predict the future. You cannot predict other people’s behavior. And that’s pretty scary to most of us. In the midst of this chaos we are looking for something to hold onto. Stability. An anchor. And because we feel unable to find this strength within ourselves, we look for it elsewhere. We can try to control things directly linked to us. If we behave in a certain way, this will help us get through the day. We create habits that provide stability. Or at least, we think so. But in fact, these habits are controlling us. We tell ourselves we need to put on make-up before we leave the house. We need to dress…

Continue reading

Be your own guru

We all need some guidance in our lives. Especially in times where many things change, it is nice to have a beacon ahead. We may find people in our surroundings or way out of reach to serve as an example. To be our personal guru. What are we looking for? In times of growth we switch from one equilibrium to a new equilibrium.  Between these stable states there is a whole landscape of chaos. We feel insecure and out of balance. We try to get hold of something stable. Someone who seems unbreakable. A superhero. What is a guru? But do superheroes exist? All the people I know face their own challenges. Even the people we value most. They also…

Continue reading

Being a sexual person

Being a sexual person

A journey towards complete freedom Sometimes I meet people who I consider to be sexual persons. They don’t need to have the looks of a catalog model. It’s about their appearance, the vibe they broadcast. First of all, these people are totally comfortable in the body they are in. I’ve seen them in many shapes, from pretty young girls to chubby old men. Both tall and short, thick and thin. They all had in common that they radiated. Without exception, these people are beautiful. Just plain beautiful. They all live a life in which they follow their heart. Whether they have a job in a library, grocery store, having their own companies or are famous. They do the things they…

Continue reading

Looking for confirmation

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. (Charles Swindoll) One day you’re at the top of the world. Everything is great. You meet great people. Maybe even some real special ones. Maybe you gave someone your number or email address. Than you go home, and all of a sudden you’re not so sure about anything anymore. You feel insecure. Next morning you switch on your computer and start to look for confirmations. Maybe there’s an email, a tweet, a message on Facebook to sooth your heavy feelings. Nothing… Maybe the other person is busy and they’ll send you a message later. You check your computer many times that day. And the next day.…

Continue reading