Dealing with Overwhelm

This morning I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed. Not because of bad things – because there is a lot of high-intensity awesomeness going on in my life. Plus a vast to-do list. We need self-care. Even though people might still run the paradigm that self-care is selfish. But in my opinion, it’s the least selfish thing we can do. because when we feel good, we have so much more to give.

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Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

Open relating can be an escape from exploring deeper within (I wrote about it on my blog, just do a search for ‘polyamory’ on my website) – connecting with many can be an escape from facing fears. But connecting with multiple people can also be a deep dive into creating a more secure attachment system. A sharing of my current personal explorations.

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To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved,   Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me.   Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers – or something in between and it may change every day.   You’re not my partner As I am my own main ally I need to learn to hold myself When I’m celebrating and when I’m afraid.   Yes, I am desiring a King Someone to stand next to me and to sit on the throne that stands next to mine.   I dust it off every now and then, but I don’t rush to fill it as it…

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Honoring my Hunger: Letting Go of Deeper Layers of ‘Too-Muchness’

It started with feeling too much by feeling not enough. I tackled that in the process of stepping more into my power. But the fear of being too much to another being is still present. How does that manifest, and what to do with it?

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It’s Okay to Ask for Confirmation

I believe it’s okay to ask confirmation from people when you feel insecure. Here are two reasons why.

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Being Single

About why it happens to many of us that as soon as we step into a relationship we feel way less autonomous, powerful and amazing as when we’re single. About the use (or not) of labels and the implications for our nervous system.

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Love is a Weird, Projection-Based Thing

Projections and love

It is often said about falling in love: the butterflies are a hormone induced crazy fling where we project all kinds of things onto another human being. Things that we either recognize in ourselves and desire more of, or things that seem the opposite of things in ourselves we desire to get rid off. And it makes sense. Tonight, we celebrated Sinterklaas, a Dutch national festivity where children get gifts from an imaginary Saint (which is the foundation of the story around Santa Claus). Me, my three daughters and their father. Someone I used to be in a relationship with for nine years. Once, we thought the other person was the most amazing person in the world. Finally someone who…

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