My boyfriend kissed someone else

Do you need to have it all?

For the first time in months my boyfriend and I were at the same place, at the same time, on the same dance floor. Together with the other participants of the workshop we just finished an intense exercise. I had found myself screaming back and forth with a man, releasing a lot of energy that felt stuck in my throat. How liberating! When I ecstatically turned around, one meter away from me, my boyfriend was passionately kissing a beautiful woman. Statistics1 tell us that over 50% of the people in a relationship cheat at least once. That means the chance that your partner did cheat on you is larger than the chance s/he didn’t. An average affair lasts 2 years.…

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Dealing with increased sensitivity

The path of personal growth is amazing. I’ve learned everything is in me. My fears, my insecurities, my so-perceived problems and the responsibility to choose. Do I hide them? Stuff them in a box and put them away somewhere in my system to sit there and bother me for the rest of my days? Or do I face them? Let them kick in full force, feel the emotions, listen to the message… and let go? Over and over I choose the second option (after I chose the first option with some issues for almost 30 years now). It feels like I’m an onion. I peel off layer after layer and get closer to my core being. To my soul. To…

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Being a high sensitive person

About twenty percent of the people on this planet are considered to be high sensitive persons. HSP. just another label in a world where almost everybody has a stigma or two, or a meaningful explanation for your issues? How do you know whether you are highly sensitive? There are many tests freely accessible on the Internet to find out whether you are considered a HSP or not. Just google for ‘high sensitive person’ and you’ll find what you are looking for. It’s also possible that you just know you are highly sensitive. When you are, I don’t think you need any test. You know. You feel it. Reading this article, stakes are high you are pretty sensitive. Feel free to…

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How to deal with other people’s emotions

How to deal with other people's emotions

Do you recognize this? You are somewhere where people aren’t feeling very happy. Maybe you’re waiting in a queue for the cash register to pay your groceries. People around you seem to be hurried. They are grumpy, annoyed when someone uses more time than strictly necessary to pay. Or you’re sitting on a train and someone is having an argument over the phone. You feel all your happy feelings leave your body. The muscles in your neck tighten. You clench your jaws. Why are these people doing this to you? Can’t they go somewhere else to express their impatience or anger? During a day there are many moments where you are exposed to the feelings, emotions and behavior of other…

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How to deal with PMS

Usually I love life. I’m happy and content with the people surrounding me, I’m patient and friendly. But some days I just don’t recognize myself. It’s like I can’t reach myself. I feel like being trapped in a thundercloud. Like a barrel of TNT that can explode any second. And usually it will. What’s wrong with me? The PMS monster Pre Menstrual Syndrome. There you go. The abbreviation hated by men, because it turns their women into monsters. Hated by women, because we know how it feels. Does every woman suffer from PMS? No. The effects of a healthy menstrual cycle are different for each woman. And even for a woman, each month is different. Some months are hell, some…

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Love the child in you

Sometimes I feel hurt or frightened in a situation, and I’m not so certain why. There are many emotions flowing through me like a storm, catching me by surprise and leaving me breathless. What happened? Why did this situation touch me as intensely as it did? It feels like the response in my body is in no way corresponding to the intensity of the situation. It feels like the person I am now isn’t the one reacting, but some hidden, core emotion that was stored behind huge walls of defense and ignorance. What happened? Feeling small There is a part of us that never grows up. The inner child in us makes us playful, lighthearted and carefree. But a child…

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Let me show you the world in my eyes

Do you know that song from Depeche Mode? Maybe put it on while you watch at the photos in this blog post… http://youtu.be/fArx9p6oOOU I’ve been going through a time of major changes lately. Having an open relationship confronts me with my fears and insecurities daily. Do I still believe it’s worth going through all this? Yes. Would I want to go back to a monogamous relationship? Definitely not. I found out there is so much old pain and fear hidden in me. I never really loved myself. I never really looked into the mirror and loved the person I saw. Only now I’m letting go of all this shields and defenses, I can find the sparkling diamond within. And I’m…

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The Challenges in Polyamory (Or: The Road to Ultimate Freedom)

Having an open relationship is amazing. Your heart opens to many different new connections at a deep level of interacting on the level of the heart. To me an open relationship is all about sharing love. Love can manifest itself in the form of a sexy person, but also as new possible business partners, friends, clients, teachers.  Existing connections switch towards a deeper level. I have learned that by opening my heart I can instantly love someone. But is switching your relationship to an open model just fun and ease? Nope. There are challenges in an open relationship, in living polyamorous. When opening your relationship, be prepared for a journey of unpeeling all the layers you formed over time. You…

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How to take responsibility in difficult situations

I could feel something standing in between my boyfriend and me. I wasn’t sure what exactly caused this tension. But it was there. And it felt pretty nasty. In the past I would have blamed him. I would take offense because of him not putting his shoes where I thought he should put them. Use these minor events to let the tension escalate into a fight. We would both feel bad. Because we didn’t get to the source of the tension, the situation wouldn’t improve. If we’d continue on that path, our relationship would become fragile. That much I learned. So I didn’t blame him. Instead, I took 100% responsibility and held myself, and only myself, responsible for the situation.…

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