Intimacy is So Much More than Sex – with Jamie Catto

Me and Jamie Catto talking about what intimacy is, how sex can be more than rubbing things together.  Sex is not just an act. But culture teaches us to approach sex in a ‘yang’ manner: directed actions with a clear goal in mind. But when we learn to listen to our bodies and the bodies we’re playing with, sex becomes a different experience. The best sex doesn’t depend completely on what you’re doing; but on how you’re doing it. Also: Jamie & I talking means loads of hilarity and not taking things too seriously.

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Dealing with Overwhelm

This morning I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed. Not because of bad things – because there is a lot of high-intensity awesomeness going on in my life. Plus a vast to-do list. We need self-care. Even though people might still run the paradigm that self-care is selfish. But in my opinion, it’s the least selfish thing we can do. because when we feel good, we have so much more to give.

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The Power of Bondage

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of kink. The play with polarities, leading and surrendering can be an amazing path of personal growth. Ropes are a tool that we can use to emphasize the leading or surrendering pole. Being tied, there’s literally nowhere to go as your ability to move is restricted. Ropes are so much more than ropes: it’s a complete experience.

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About Attracting Unavailable Partners

Availability

Attracting unavailable partners… It’s a pattern! I have written about it before: I’m so tired of attracting unavailable people. And also, what is emotional availability anyway? But: if there’s a pattern, there’s something to learn. What’s in this for me?

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Choose People Who Choose You

This image is the background of my WhatsApp conversations. ‘Choose People Who Choose You’, in big, fat, bold letters. It’s a constant reminder to myself to be me. It’s so easy to edit ourselves for the purpose of being liked. I guess it’s an implicit trait most of us have. We’re social beings, we need our herd, our tribe, to be safe and survive. So we need to be accepted, liked, or even loved. I have witnessed it in myself so often. I would walk into a room, and straightly adapt my words, posture, and behavior to the people I’m with. To a certain degree that’s beautiful, as respecting a culture or family habits. But it’s different when it takes…

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To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved,   Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me.   Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers – or something in between and it may change every day.   You’re not my partner As I am my own main ally I need to learn to hold myself When I’m celebrating and when I’m afraid.   Yes, I am desiring a King Someone to stand next to me and to sit on the throne that stands next to mine.   I dust it off every now and then, but I don’t rush to fill it as it…

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