On Trust and Trusting

On Trust and Trusting

The deepest layer of trust is not about knowing what will happen, how to get what you want, or even about understanding your desire. There’s no use in trying to get it, as trust isn’t about ‘getting it’. Trust is a feeling. A close connection to your inner world and intuition. A clear communication channel to what’s deep inside and beyond you. Trust is alignment to truth. The purpose of your life’s journey. Trust is breathing and opening up, even when you’re afraid or believe that this time it’s all wrong. Trust is letting go of how you think you should get to where you think you should be going. Because you don’t know. The path is in the unfolding…

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Magic is Real and We Can Create it All the Time

Our imagination is so limited by the cage of conditioning. We all create beliefs about how we should live, relate, behave, work, parent or look – beyond what we realize. We limit our magic with our own thoughts. And our thoughts are the key to freedom as well. Our thoughts that are created by our belief systems and our emotions. But are they real? Is there anything we cannot create? What if we are powerful beyond imagination and indeed, capable to create magic? Magic is in big things and in small things. It exists, but only when we believe. I spent the last days in Paris, with my beloved. A relationship that from just the mind is pretty challenging to make…

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Why I don’t try to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity.

Why I try not to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity. And why you shouldn't too.

And why you shouldn’t too. When I am going through processes of growth, some days are better than others. On good days it’s often not so difficult to love myself. But when days are tougher, and I feel a longing for connection with, or approval from others. I feel needy, afraid and insecure. On top of that i feel judgment: i shouldn’t feel like this. i should be beyond this, I’ve dealt with this. I want to get rid of what I feel. That’s the most counterproductive strategy of dealing with what is going on inside me. I this video I share, on a tough day, how I deal with myself.

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How are you editing your life?

How do you edit your life?

As a writer they tell you to edit your writing by deleting at least thirty percent of the words you have written. Do you realize most of us do the same thing with our lives? We edit parts of our lives by hiding them, erasing them and forgetting about them all together. Sometimes it’s quite useful to let go of certain things. Think about biting nails or drawing pictures of colorful houses with crayons on the wallpaper of our parents’ living room. But we also edit precious parts of our lives. We erase things we love. Why? The castle metaphor My friend Jamie Catto often uses the metaphor of a castle in his workshops. He says that we are all…

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How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

Lately I have been feeling very grateful for the amazing people in my life. I work with some of the most inspiring teachers on this planet. I date gorgeous, talented men and women. I have awesome friends who love the same things as I do, like cuddling for hours, having deep conversations or singing mantras and making music. Even most of the people I randomly meet in the streets are wonderful and amazing. Random encounters turn into deep connections that last seconds or months. It hasn’t always been like that. On the contrary. For years I felt like I didn’t belong. The outcast that nobody understood or actually really liked. But also more recently I had lovers who weren’t honest…

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Can I have Slow Sex Please? – Four Important Insights I gained in Tantra

Can I have Slow Sex Please?

There is wine that you buy, just to buy wine. You quickly glance over the bottles and end up with a 5 liter box of cheap Merlot. Nothing wrong with that. The next time you spend even less time, heading for the same Merlot right away. You liked it last time, didn’t you? Sex can be like that Merlot, or like a slowly ripened, full bodied affair. Nothing wrong with a quickie, but there is so much more than the fast-and-easy fix for releasing tension, frustration or just that urge for a moment of sensory high. I like Slow Sex. These are some lessons I learned from practicing Tantra. I like diversity and exploration I like Merlot. But I also…

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Love addiction: When an (open) relationship becomes an attempt to fill a void

Love addiction: When an (open) relationship becomes an attempt to fill a void

When talking about open relationships, polyamory or non-monogamy in general, a discussion point brought to the table often is that in monogamous relationship two people can go very deep, exploring each other completely, over a longer period of time, and with no distractions. Having multiple relationships, it is easy to spread your attention and keep connections on a shallow level of depth. Indeed, the largest pitfall I encounter having an open relationship is the temptation to avoid facing struggles and fear in the relationship with my partner, and finding support, satisfaction, attention  or whatever it is I desire and don’t get in the relationship elsewhere. But even when you’re not in a relationship, it’s easy to get lost in connecting…

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Three years into my open relationship – the lessons I’ve learned

Three years into my open relationship

In October 2012 my partner and I decided to open up our, until then, monogamous relationship. We had been talking and fantasizing about our feelings for over a year. Now we were ready to take the plunge. Why I chose to have an open relationship When my partner and I met, we were in our early twenties. We embarked on a journey which was my first long-term relationship. His second after a relationship of a year and a half. We both had our adventures with people. And now we found each other in something that felt like a relationship that would last a long time. Would that mean we would never flirt with others again? Never kiss, let alone make…

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The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

I launched crowdfunding campaign. You might have noticed it. I did expect reactions from people. People who would want to help out, and people who wouldn’t. But I didn’t expect that much reaction from inside me. Is this desire allowed? It all started with a desire. In my case, a desire for space for my own. Our house is small. We have three kids packed in one room, a tiny work space that my partner, his computer and administration files occupy. My space is a desk in the living room. The same living room where my kids play and fight and where people come and go. I’m the kind of person who needs time and space alone to stay sane.…

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The Ritual Cacao Ceremony

Cacao ceremony

Who doesn’t love chocolate? The combination of cacao, dance and a mind-expanding experience must be one of the most luscious things I can think of. I also love how plants and other natural substances can give us insights that we usually can’t reach. I call them imprints: once you felt them, you will always be able to reconnect to a certain feeling and apply it in new situations. I never tried ritual doses of theobromine, the active compound of chocolate. Raw cacao in ritual doses is celebrated for its capacities to open hearts and supports transformation through self-love. Raw cacao is also a powerful antioxidant, enhances the immune system, lowers the risk of heart disease, lowers high cholesterol and blood…

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