We still live in a society in which heterosexuality is seen as the norm. Any deviation from it may lead to shaming – or even violence. In some countries, non-heterosexual choices may lead to the death penalty.

I think heterosexuality is an imposed choice. Why?

There are many reasons for having sex. Out of all these reasons, one reason is to procreate*. For this reason, a heterosexual encounter comes in handy, where egg and sperm meet and fertilization happens. We need male and female.

But there are many other reasons for having sex. Many reasons that do not include fertilization – and looking at the amount of sex we have for reasons unrelated to procreation (take account of all the products on the market to prevent pregnancy or to induce joy in sex that have nothing to do with fertilization, like vibrators, handcuffs, or flavoured condoms) relative to the amount of sex we have to get pregnant – these reasons are important.

To name a few:

  • pleasure
  • relaxation
  • forming a bond
  • confirming a bond
  • conflict mediation
  • release

In other words: we have WAY more sex unrelated to getting pregnant for many reasons not involved with procreation. And for all this sex, it doesn’t matter sh!t what gender you are. You do not need a heterosexual encounter to have sex, or to enjoy sex. Any constellation, any meeting of people of any gender, male, female, cis, trans, non-binary or something else, can lead to enjoyable sex.

So why keep heterosexuality as the norm?

Why is there still violence and shaming of those choosing differently?

*I’m talking about spontaneous procreation here. Of course, procreation in other ways is possible – though not spontaneous. I’m also not talking about raising kids, as, I hope this is obvious, that can be successfully done by parental figures of any gender.