Facilitators I train or have trained and warmly recommend:

Ware Intimiteit / Piero Flor – cuddle workshops and individual sessions (BE)

Karin Connects – friendship coaching (NL)

Mel Bonajo – Skinship Berlin and artist (GE)

Ella Shields – workshops on touch, gender, etc (GE)

Carson Carsxn – workshops on touch, gender, etc (NL)


Workshops and facilitators I have experienced and warmly recommend:

I have personally experienced these facilitators. Their approach feels inclusive, well informed and safe. I also work with colleagues in my accountability pod that are not mentioned here.


The Wheel of Consent / Betty Martin (US)

The Consent Academy / Ariana Coveney (DE)

The Art of Consent / Rupert James Alison (UK)


Urban Tantra / Barbara Carrellas (US)

Bliss Your Body / Wendy Doeleman (NL)

Unveiling Intimacy / Chris van der Weide

Tantra Training / Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden (NL)


Francesca Gentille – clinical sexologist, shaman, author (US)

School of Erotic Mysteries / Seani Love (UK)

Play Parties & Sex-Positive Spaces

None in The Netherlands that I can currently recommend, unfortunately (I know most). I have heard good things about Filthy Sinners (a monthly kinky play party near Utrecht).

Conscious Play Temple / Gili Gilganit (DE)


ReidAboutSex / Reid Mihalko – sexuality educator (US)

PlayFull Living / Simon Magnus (NL) – GBTQ focus

Embodied Eros / Jason King (NL) – GBTQ focus

Intimacy Coaching / Sexological Bodywork

Robyn Dalzen – Intimacy coaching, consent facilitation (US)

Sinsia |The Queer Sex Coach – sexological bodywork (NL/online)

Arati Bonte – sexological bodywork, ritual play (NL)

Gilius Kreiken / Reuzehulp – coaching for men (NL)

Relationship Coaching

Anlacan Tran 

DK Green


Jamie Catto – personal growth (UK)

Smut Slam – sexy storytelling

Professional Training

Sexological Bodywork – body-based intimacy practitioners

Like a Pro by The School of Consent – a MUST for anyone who wants to use the Wheel of Consent in their teachings

Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas – for conscious sexuality professionals (very inclusive!)

Seani Wild Love – individual guidance for male sexuality practitioners


The Intimacy Festival (NL)

The Intimate Revolution (DE, AT)

Nowhere (ESP)

Sexsibility (SE)

    Workshops and facilitators I have not experienced (yet) but that I am curious about:

    These are places where I haven’t been to (yet), but they come highly recommended.


    Centrum voor Tantra (NL)


    Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (US)


    The Body is not an Apology / Sonya Renee Taylor – radical self-love (US)

    Bustie LaTish Burlesque – body positive burlesque (NL)

      I have experienced many schools, workshops, and teachers (see my ‘about’ section). Others I consciously choose not to go to. Some people who used to be part of my team host events where my work is copied. When they do not show up on this page, this means I can’t recommend them.


      How to know which workshop is safe?


      Please check the website Red Flags in Workshops for detailed information on how to find out whether the teacher/workshop you want to go to is safe.

      Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

      Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

      Consent, Power, and Abuse (2): The roles of enablers, bystanders, and apologists in maintaining abusive group dynamics.

      Please check the website Red Flags in Workshops for detailed information on how to find out whether the teacher/workshop you want to go to is safe.

      Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

      Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

      Quick safety checks

      These are a few of my personal tips to check how safe a facilitator or school is. The document on the flag system is more elaborate, so do check that too!

      #1: Does the facilitator get their own intimacy needs to be met in a workshop or session?

      Some facilitators host intimate retreats or give tantric/bodywork sessions to find people to date, have sexual interactions, or meet other personal needs in their event spaces. These workshops or sessions should be a service for you, their client. ‘Who is it for?’ should never get confusing!

      The facilitator is in a place of power. Just like a medical doctor, school teacher, or psychologist should not date their clients, neither should your facilitator.

      No facilitator has magical powers that you can only access through physical interaction with them. Are they making you special, inviting you for a (free) private session? These are red flags.

      #2 : How do colleagues and ex-students and clients speak about this facilitator and school?

      Skip the raving reviews of current students (they may still be in their honeymoon phase). But what do the ones say that finished their journey, or who still come years later? What do their colleagues say? Who is working with them, and what is their image?

      #3: Online transparency.

      Is there transparency about the facilitator/school, their history and their way of working? Who were their own teachers? What education have they followed? Are they licensed to teach what they teach? Are they trauma-informed? Is it easy to file a complaint? How do they deal with health threats like covid?

      #4: What does your gut say?

      And then there is your gut feeling. How do you feel about them? Is it ‘fear of missing out’ or enthusiasm speaking? When there is something you want to experience, but you are not sure about this school or facilitator – ask yourself: ‘Is this really the only place where I can learn/experience this, or is there another place too?’


      Books I love:

      There are so many amazing books, as well as books that are not so great. My personal library is huge. These are some of my favorite books that I can recommend:


      The Art of Receiving and Giving – Betty Martin


      Introduction to Tantra – Lama Yeshe

      Tantra Illuminated – Christopher D. Wallis

      The Recognition Sutras – Christopher D. Wallis

      Urban Tantra – Barbara Carrellas

      Tantra – Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden 

      Tantra – Margot Anand / Margo Anand’s books come with a strong warning that Anand’s approach to tantra is very heteronormative and binary (male/female interactions).

      Wild Nights – David Deida / I’m not a fan of Deida’s approach of tantra and sexuality. This book is an interesting peek into life in a ‘crazy magic’ mystery school.


      The Ultimate Guide to Kink – Tristan Taormino

      Radical Ecstasy – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      The New Topping Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      The New Bottoming Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      Dark Moon Rising – Raven Kaldera / This book comes with a trigger warning for explicit descriptions of intense physical scenes, as well as a warning this book mixes paganism/animist religion with kink. Not for the average pragmatist.


      Come as You Are – Emily Nagoski

      Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

      The Erotic Mind – Jack Morin

      The Healing Power of Pleasure – Julia Paulette Hollenbery

      Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jetha

      Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

      Getting It. A Guide to hot, healthy hookups and shame-free sex – Alison Moon

      Girl Sex 101 – Alison Moon

      A Celebration of Vulva Diversity – Hilde Atalanta


      The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      Opening Up – Tristan Taormino

      Love in Abundance – Kathy Labriola

      Polysecure – Jessica Fern

      Anaïs Nin – Leonie Bischoff

      Open – Rachel Krantz

      The Polyamorists Next Door – Elizabeth Sheff / The results of researching polyamorous families over a long period of time. Here’s my review.

      Stories from the Polycule – Elizabeth Sheff / features a story by me.

      The Husband Swap – Louisa Leontiades


      Queer, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

      Gender, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

      Life Isn’t Binary – Meg-John Barker

      Rewriting the Rules – Meg-John Barker

      Gender Outlaw – Kate Bornstein

      Delusions of Gender – Cordelia Fine

      Beyond the Gender Binary – Alok Vaid-Menon

      Beyond the Binary: Thinking about Sex & Gender – Shannon Dea

      Nervous system/healing

      The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Vanderkolk

      The Polyvagal Theory – Steven Porges

      The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

      Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

      Personal Growth

      Insanely Gifted – Jamie Catto

      Rethinking Narcissism – Craig Malkin

      It didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn / Intergenerational trauma and how it can impact you today.

      The Wisdom of Psychopaths – Kevin Dutton

      How Emotions are Made – Liza Feldman Barrett

      The Body is not an Apology – Sonya Renee Taylor


      All books – Anaïs Nin

      All books – Henry Miller

      Lade Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence

      The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl – Belle de Jour

      Cults & Power Dynamics

      Disrupting the Bystander, when #metoo happens amongst friends – A.V. Flox

      Cult Trip – Anke Richter

      My Life in Orange – Tim Guest 


      The Comfort Book – Matt Haig

      Milk & Honey – Rupi Kaur

      The Art of Asking – Amanda Palmer

      Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

      The Salt Path – Raynor Winn

      Do you want to buy a book? Consider buying books at the locally owned queer sexshop Tailbone (Rotterdam, NL – also check out their wide range of sex toys!), feminist bookstore Savannah Bay (Utrecht, NL), or your local indie bookstore.



      About me

      Hi! My name is Wilrieke Sophia.

      I’m an Intimacy Coach & Educator, Facilitator, International Speaker & Entrepreneur. I can help you take charge of your love life by attracting what you really desire in life:  love, sex, friendship – from mild to wild, from monogamy to polyamory, and everything in between.

      I will take you from feeling lonely, unworthy, and disconnected to feeling more connected with yourself, others, and completely turned on by life.

      I also train facilitators to run a trauma-informed, inclusive, and consensual intimacy-based business like mine. Keep on reading to find out more about all the exciting workshops, products, and online courses I offer!

      Photo depicts a white caucasian woman holding two buzzard feathers. She is wearing a black dress with white dots, showing a line art tattoo on her collarbone.Wilrieke Sophia portrait

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