Workshops and facilitators I have experienced and warmly recommend:

I have personally experienced these facilitators. Their approach feels inclusive, well informed and safe. I also work with colleagues in my accountability pod that are not mentioned here.

Consent

The Wheel of Consent / Betty Martin (US)

The Consent Academy / Ariana Coveney (DE)

The Art of Consent / Rupert James Alison (UK)

Tantra

Urban Tantra / Barbara Carrellas (US)

Everyday Tantra / Monique Darling (US)

Bliss Your Body / Wendy Doeleman (NL)

Tantra Training / Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden (NL)

Kink/BDSM

Francesca Gentille – clinical sexologist, shaman, author (US)

School of Erotic Mysteries / Seani Love (UK)

Play Parties & Sex-Positive Spaces

None in The Netherlands that I can currently recommend unfortunately (I know most).

The Sensual Arts School / Luna Agneya (AU)

Conscious Play Temple / Gili Gilganit (DE)

Sexuality

ReidAboutSex / Reid Mihalko – sexuality educator (US)

Sanya Alaya – tantra, sexuality, conscious kink (DE)

Intimacy Coaching / Sexological Bodywork

Robyn Dalzen – Intimacy coaching, consent facilitation (US)

Sinsia |The Queer Sex Coach – sexological bodywork (NL)

Arati Bonte – sexological bodywork, ritual play (NL)

Relationship Coaching

Anlacan Tran 

DK Green

Other

Jamie Catto – personal growth (UK)

Ware Intimiteit / Piero Flor – cuddle workshops (BE)

Festivals

The Intimacy Festival (NL)

Quintasensual (UK)

The Intimate Revolution (DE, AT)

Nowhere (ESP)

Sexsibility (SE)

Workshops and facilitators I have not experienced (yet) but that I am curious about:

These are places where I haven’t been to (yet), but that come highly recommended.

Tantra

Centrum voor Tantra (NL)

Kink/BDSM

Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (US)

Other

The Body is not an Apology / Sonya Renee Taylor – radical self-love (US)

Bustie LaTish Burlesque – body positive burlesque (NL)

I have experienced many schools, workshops and teachers (see my ‘about’ section). Others I consciously choose not to go to. Some people who used to be part of my team host events where my work is copied. When they do not show up on this page, this means I can’t recommend them.

—

 

How to know which workshop is safe?

 

Please check the website Red Flags in Workshops for detailed information on how to find out whether the teacher/workshop you want to go to is safe.

Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

Please check the website Red Flags in Workshops for detailed information on how to find out whether the teacher/workshop you want to go to is safe.

Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

Quick safety checks These are a few of my personal tips to check how safe a facilitator or school is. The document on the flag system is more elaborate, so do check that too! #1: Does the facilitator get their own intimacy needs to be met in a workshop or session? Some facilitators host intimate retreats or give tantric/bodywork sessions to find people to date, have sexual interactions, or meet other personal needs in their event spaces. These workshops or sessions should be a service for you, their client. ‘Who is it for?’ should never get confusing! The facilitator is in a place of power. Just like a medical doctor, school teacher, or psychologist should not date their clients, neither should your facilitator. No facilitator has magical powers that you can only access through physical interaction with them. Are they making you special, inviting you for a (free) private session? These are red flags. #2 : How do colleagues and ex-students and clients speak about this facilitator and school? Skip the raving reviews of current students (they may still be in their honeymoon phase). But what do the ones say that finished their journey, or who still come years later? What do their colleagues say? Who is working with them, and what is their image? #3: Online transparency. Is there transparency about the facilitator/school, their history and their way of working? Who were their own teachers? What education have they followed? Are they licensed to teach what they teach? Are they trauma-informed? Is it easy to file a complaint? How do they deal with health threats like covid? #4: What does your gut say? And then there is your gut feeling. How do you feel about them? Is it ‘fear of missing out’ or enthusiasm speaking? When there is something you want to experience, but you are not sure about this school or facilitator – ask yourself: ‘Is this really the only place where I can learn/experience this, or is there another place too?’

 

Books I love:

There are so many amazing books, as well as books that are not so great. My personal library is huge. These are some of my favorite books that I can recommend:

Consent

The Art of Receiving and Giving – Betty Martin

Tantra

Introduction to Tantra – Lama Yeshe

Tantra Illuminated – Christopher D. Wallis

The Recognition Sutras – Christopher D. Wallis

Urban Tantra – Barbara Carrellas

Tantra – Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden 

Tantra – Margot Anand / Margo Anand’s books come with a warning that Anand’s approach to tantra is quite sexual as well as very heteronormative and binary (male/female interactions).

Wild Nights – David Deida / I’m not a fan of Deida’s approach of tantra and sexuality. This book is an interesting peek into life in a ‘crazy magic’ mystery school.

Kink/BDSM

The Ultimate Guide to Kink – Tristan Taormino

Radical Ecstasy – Dossie easton & Janet Hardy

The New Topping Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

The New Bottoming Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

Dark Moon Rising – Raven Kaldera / This book comes with a trigger warning for explicit descriptions of intense physical scenes, as well as a warning this book mixes paganism/animist religion with kink. Not for the average pragmatist.

Sexuality

Come as You Are – Emily Nagoski

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

The Erotic Mind – Jack Morin

The Healing Power of Pleasure – Julia Paulette Hollenbery

Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jetha

Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

Getting It. A Guide to hot, healthy hookups and shame-free sex – Alison Moon

Girl Sex 101 – Alison Moon

A Celebration of Vulva Diversity – Hilde Atalanta

Non-Monogamy

The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

Opening Up – Tristan Taormino

Love in Abundance – Kathy Labriola

Polysecure – Jessica Fern

Anaïs Nin – Leonie Bischoff

Open – Rachel Krantz

The Polyamorists Next Door – Elizabeth Sheff / The results of researching polyamorous families over a long period of time. Here’s my review.

Stories from the Polycule – Elizabeth Sheff / features a story by me.

The Husband Swap – Louisa Leontiades

Gender/queer

Queer, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

Gender, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

Life Isn’t Binary – Meg-John Barker

Rewriting the Rules – Meg-John Barker

Gender Outlaw – Kate Bornstein

Delusions of Gender – Cordelia Fine

Beyond the Gender Binary – Alok Vaid-Menon

Beyond the Binary: Thinking about Sex & Gender – Shannon Dea

Nervous system/healing

The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Vanderkolk

The Polyvagal Theory – Steven Porges

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Personal Growth

Insanely Gifted – Jamie Catto

Rethinking Narcissism – Craig Malkin

It didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn / Intergenerational trauma and how it can impact you today.

The Wisdom of Psychopaths – Kevin Dutton

How Emotions are Made – Liza Feldman Barrett

The Body is not an Apology – Sonya Renee Taylor

Erotica

All books – Anaïs Nin

All books – Henry Miller

Lade Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence

The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl – Belle de Jour

Other

The Comfort Book – Matt Haig

Milk & Honey – Rupi Kaur

The Art of Asking – Amanda Palmer

Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

The Salt Path – Raynor Winn

Do you want to buy a book? Consider buying books at the locally owned queer sexshop Tailbone (Rotterdam, NL – also check out their wide range of sex toys!), feminist bookstore Savannah Bay (Utrecht, NL), or your local indie bookstore.

 

—