Recommended

Workshops and facilitators I have experienced and warmly recommend: 

I have personally experienced these facilitators. Their approach feels inclusive, well informed and safe. I also work with colleagues in my accountability pod that are not mentioned here.

Consent

The Wheel of Consent / Betty Martin (US)

The Consent Academy / Ariana Coveney (DE)

The Art of Consent / Rupert James Alison (UK)

Tantra

Everyday Tantra / Monique Darling (US)

Bliss Your Body / Wendy Doeleman (NL)

Tantra Training / Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden (NL)

Kink/BDSM

Francesca Gentille – clinical sexologist, shaman, author (US)

School of Erotic Mysteries / Seani Love (UK)

The Sensual Arts School / Luna Agneya (AU)

Play Parties & Sex-Positive Spaces

None in NL that I can recommend unfortunately.

Sexuality

ReidAboutSex / Reid Mihalko – sexuality educator (US)

Sanya Alaya – tantra, sexuality, conscious kink (DE)

Intimacy Coaching / Sexological Bodywork

Robyn Dalzen – Intimacy coaching, consent facilitation (US)

Sinsia |The Queer Sex Coach – sexological bodywork (NL)

Arati Bonte – sexological bodywork, ritual play (NL)

Relationship Coaching

Anlacan Tran 

Other

Jamie Catto – personal growth (UK)

Ware Intimiteit / Piero Flor – cuddle workshops (BE)

Festivals

The Intimate Revolution (DE, AT)

Parallel Universe (DE, AT)

Nowhere (ESP)

Sexuality Gathering / Osho Leela (UK)

Sexsibility (SE)

    Workshops and facilitators I have not experienced (yet) but that I am curious about:

    These are places where I haven’t been to (yet), but that come highly recommended.

    Tantra

    Urban Tantra / Barbara Carrellas (signed up for autumn 2022) (US)

    Centrum voor Tantra (NL)

    Kink/BDSM

    Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (US)

    Sexuality

    Janina Vivianne – Safer sex workshops, consent games (AT)

    Other

    The Body is not an Apology / Sonya Renee Taylor – radical self-love (US)

    Bustie LaTish Burlesque – body positive burlesque (NL)

      I have experienced many schools, workshops and teachers (see my ‘about’ section). Others I consciously choose not to go to. Some people who used to be part of my team host events where my work is copied. When they do not show up on this page, this means I can’t recommend them.

       

      How to know which workshop is safe?

       

      Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

      Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

      Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.

      Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.

      Quick safety checks

      These are a few of my personal tips to check how safe a facilitator or school is. The document on the flag system is more elaborate, so do check that too!

      #1: Does the facilitator get their own intimacy needs to be met in a workshop or session?

      Some facilitators host intimate retreats or give tantric/bodywork sessions to find people to date, have sexual interactions, or meet other personal needs in their event spaces. These workshops or sessions should be a service for you, their client. ‘Who is it for?’ should never get confusing!

      The facilitator is in a place of power. Just like a medical doctor, school teacher, or psychologist should not date their clients, neither should your facilitator.

      No facilitator has magical powers that you can only access through physical interaction with them. Are they making you special, inviting you for a (free) private session? These are red flags.

      #2 : How do colleagues and ex-students and clients speak about this facilitator and school?

      Skip the raving reviews of current students (they may still be in their honeymoon phase). But what do the ones say that finished their journey, or who still come years later? What do their colleagues say? Who is working with them, and what is their image?

      #3: Online transparency.

      Is there transparency about the facilitator/school, their history and their way of working? Who were their own teachers? What education have they followed? Are they licensed to teach what they teach? Are they trauma-informed? Is it easy to file a complaint? How do they deal with health threats like covid?

      #4: What does your gut say?

      And then there is your gut feeling. How do you feel about them? Is it ‘fear of missing out’ or enthusiasm speaking? When there is something you want to experience, but you are not sure about this school or facilitator – ask yourself: ‘Is this really the only place where I can learn/experience this, or is there another place too?’

      How to find out who harmed?

      There is no black list of facilitators or schools that have caused harm. Publishing accusations may obstruct a legal procedure or be slander – in which case the person calling out the alleged perpetrator is at risk of being prosecuted.

      To find out if a specific facilitator, bodyworker, workshop or school is trustworthy – ask several people who are colleagues or ex-participants of them and reflect on their experiences. Search a platform like Facebook, Medium, or Reddit for the name you want to research. Don’t browse to their profile, but look for posts that mention the name of this person or school. Use your search engine to search for [name] + abuse, complaints, harm and see what comes up.

      These are some resources with information about specific harm:

      • Gurumag by cult journalist Be Scofield. This website includes reports on The New Tantra, Mooji, Byron Katie, Abraham Hicks, Agama, Love has Won, Shantam Nityama, Andrew Cohen, Andrew Barnes and Dr. Phil.
      • The Facebook group Tantra not Trauma (search the group for the name/s you want to research).
      • The BBC Podcast The Orgasm Cult about OneTaste, Orgasmic Meditation and it’s founder Nicole Daedone.
      • The podcast episodes and articles by the Conspirituality Podcast, including episodes about social media influencers like JP Sears, Christiane Northrup, Marianne Williamson and many others.
      • The podcast Sounds like a Cult, including episodes about Tony Robbins and Multi-Level Marketing.

      Recommended Resources

      For those who want to find more information on consent, harm reduction, restorative justice, accountability, etc.

      Interesting books:

      – Disrupting the Bystander / when #metoo happens among friends – A.V. Flox

      Learn more about consent:

       

       

       

      Books I love:

      There are so many amazing books, as well as books that are not so great. My personal library is huge. These are some of my favorite books that I can recommend:

      Consent

      The Art of Receiving and Giving – Betty Martin

      Tantra

      Urban Tantra – Barbara Carrellas

      Tantra – Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden 

      Tantra – Margot Anand / Margo Anand’s books come with a warning that Anand’s approach to tantra is quite sexual as well as very heteronormative and binary (male/female interactions).

      Wild Nights – David Deida / I’m not a fan of Deida’s approach of tantra and sexuality. This book is an interesting peek into life in a ‘crazy magic’ mystery school.

      Kink/BDSM

      The Ultimate Guide to Kink – Tristan Taormino

      The New Topping Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      The New Bottoming Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      Dark Moon Rising – Raven Kaldera / This book comes with a trigger warning for explicit descriptions of intense physical scenes, as well as a warning this book mixes paganism/animist religion with kink. Not for the average pragmatist.

      Sexuality

      Come as You Are – Emily Nagoski

      Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

      The Erotic Mind – Jack Morin

      The Healing Power of Pleasure – Julia Paulette Hollenbery

      Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jetha

      Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

      Getting It. A Guide to hot, healthy hookups and shame-free sex – Alison Moon

      Girl Sex 101 – Alison Moon

      A Celebration of Vulva Diversity – Hilde Atalanta

      Non-Monogamy

      The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

      Opening Up – Tristan Taormino

      Love in Abundance – Kathy Labriola

      Polysecure – Jessica Fern

      Anaïs Nin – Leonie Bischoff 

      Open – Rachel Krantz

      The Polyamorists Next Door – Elizabeth Sheff / The results of researching polyamorous families over a long period of time. Here’s my review.

      Stories from the Polycule – Elizabeth Sheff / features a story by me.

      The Husband Swap – Louisa Leontiades

      Gender/queer

      Queer, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

      Gender, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker

      Life Isn’t Binary – Meg-John Barker

      Rewriting the Rules – Meg-John Barker

      Delusions of Gender – Cordelia Fine

      Beyond the Gender Binary – Alok Vaid-Menon

      Beyond the Binary: Thinking about Sex & Gender – Shannon Dea

      Nervous system/healing

      The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Vanderkolk

      The Polyvagal Theory – Steven Porges

      The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

      Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

      Personal Growth

      Insanely Gifted – Jamie Catto

      Rethinking Narcisism – Craig Malkin

      It didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn / Intergenerational trauma and how it can impact you today.

      The Wisdom of Psychopaths – Kevin Dutton

      How Emotions are Made – Liza Feldman Barrett

      The Body is not an Apology – Sonya Renee Taylor

      Erotica

      All books – Anaïs Nin

      All books – Henry Miller 

      Lade Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence

      The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl – Belle de Jour

      Other

      The Comfort Book – Matt Haig

      Milk & Honey – Rupi Kaur

      The Art of Asking – Amanda Palmer

      Do you want to buy a book? Consider buying books at the locally owned queer sexshop Tailbone (Rotterdam, NL – also check out their wide range of sex toys!), feminist bookstore Savannah Bay (Utrecht, NL), or your local indie bookstore.

       

      About me

      Hi! My name is Wilrieke Sophia.

      I’m an Intimacy Coach & Educator, Facilitator, International Speaker & Entrepreneur. I can help you take charge of your love life by attracting what you really desire in life:  love, sex, friendship – from mild to wild, from monogamy to polyamory, and everything in between.

      I will take you from feeling lonely, unworthy, and disconnected to feeling more connected with yourself, others, and completely turned on by life.

      I also train facilitators to run a trauma-informed, inclusive, and consensual intimacy-based business like mine. Keep on reading to find out more about all the exciting workshops, products, and online courses I offer!

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