Recommended
Unfortunately there are a lot of events out there that lack in quality, inclusivity, and safety. I do not keep a public blacklist of workshops and teachers that I have received complaints about. Please inform yourself wisely. Red Flags in Workshops is a good resource for that.
Facilitators I train or have trained and warmly recommend:
Ware Intimiteit / Piero Flor – cuddle workshops and individual sessions (BE)
Karin Connects – friendship coaching (NL)
Mel Bonajo – Skinship Berlin and artist (GE)
Ella Shields – workshops on touch, gender, etc (GE)
Carson Carsxn – workshops on touch, gender, etc (NL)
Workshops and facilitators I have experienced and warmly recommend:
I have personally experienced these facilitators. Their approach feels inclusive, well informed and safe. I also work with colleagues in my accountability pod that are not mentioned here.
Trauma / Being Trauma-Informed
Creating Safer Spaces / Shelby Leigh (online)
Consent
The Wheel of Consent / Betty Martin (US)
The Consent Academy / Ariana Coveney (DE)
The Art of Consent / Rupert James Alison (UK)
Tantra
Urban Tantra / Barbara Carrellas (US)
Bliss Your Body / Wendy Doeleman (NL)
Unveiling Intimacy / Chris van der Weide
Tantra Training / Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden (NL)
For Tantra workshops in The Netherlands, Stichting TantraWijzer is a good starting point (and quality check)
Kink/BDSM
Francesca Gentille – clinical sexologist, shaman, author (US)
School of Erotic Mysteries / Seani Love (UK)
Play Parties & Sex-Positive Spaces
None in The Netherlands that I can currently recommend, unfortunately (I know most). I have heard good things about Filthy Sinners (a monthly kinky play party near Utrecht).
Ella Shields – Playful Pleasures Party (DE / NL)
Sexuality
ReidAboutSex / Reid Mihalko – sexuality educator (US)
PlayFull Living / Simon Magnus (NL) – GBTQ focus
Embodied Eros / Jason King (NL) – GBTQ focus
Intimacy Coaching / Sexological Bodywork
Robyn Dalzen – Intimacy coaching, consent facilitation (US)
Sinsia |The Queer Sex Coach – sexological bodywork (NL/online)
Arati Bonte – sexological bodywork, ritual play (NL)
Gilius Kreiken / Reuzehulp – coaching for men (NL)
Relationship Coaching
DK Green
Other
Jamie Catto – personal growth (UK)
Smut Slam – sexy storytelling
Wrijving – Dutch sexy storytelling
Professional Training
Creating Safer Spaces / Shelby Leigh (online) – a MUST for everyone who wants to learn how to be trauma-aware, and develop safer workshops/sessions/events. Guest teachers include Betty Martin and many others. Strong on diversity and inclusivity. A favorite!
Sexological Bodywork – body-based intimacy practitioners
Like a Pro by The School of Consent – a MUST for anyone who wants to use the Wheel of Consent in their teachings
Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas – for conscious sexuality professionals (very inclusive!)
Festivals
Tantric Joy Festival Amsterdam (NL)
The Intimate Revolution (DE, AT)
Nowhere (ESP)
Sexsibility (SE)
Workshops and facilitators I have not experienced (yet) but that I am curious about:
These are places where I haven’t been to (yet), but they come highly recommended.
Tantra
Centrum voor Tantra (NL)
Kink/BDSM
Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (US)
Other
The Body is not an Apology / Sonya Renee Taylor – radical self-love (US)
Bustie LaTish Burlesque – body positive burlesque (NL)
I have experienced many schools, workshops, and teachers (see my ‘about’ section). Others I consciously choose not to go to. Some people who used to be part of my team host events where my work is copied. When they do not show up on this page, this means I can’t recommend them.
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How to know which workshop is safe?
Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.
Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.
Consent, Power, and Abuse (2): The roles of enablers, bystanders, and apologists in maintaining abusive group dynamics.
Exploring Deeper is collaborating with The Art of Consent on a series of informative brochures.
Consent, Power, and Abuse (1): A system of coloured flags that are intended as a starting point to encourage awareness, provoke discussion, empower participants and offer self-reflection for facilitators.
Quick safety checksThese are a few of my personal tips to check how safe a facilitator or school is. The document on the flag system is more elaborate, so do check that too! #1: Does the facilitator get their own intimacy needs to be met in a workshop or session? Some facilitators host intimate retreats or give tantric/bodywork sessions to find people to date, have sexual interactions, or meet other personal needs in their event spaces. These workshops or sessions should be a service for you, their client. ‘Who is it for?’ should never get confusing! The facilitator is in a place of power. Just like a medical doctor, school teacher, or psychologist should not date their clients, neither should your facilitator. No facilitator has magical powers that you can only access through physical interaction with them. Are they making you special, inviting you for a (free) private session? These are red flags. #2 : How do colleagues and ex-students and clients speak about this facilitator and school? Skip the raving reviews of current students (they may still be in their honeymoon phase). But what do the ones say that finished their journey, or who still come years later? What do their colleagues say? Who is working with them, and what is their image? #3: Online transparency. Is there transparency about the facilitator/school, their history and their way of working? Who were their own teachers? What education have they followed? Are they licensed to teach what they teach? Are they trauma-informed? Is it easy to file a complaint? How do they deal with health threats like covid? #4: What does your gut say? And then there is your gut feeling. How do you feel about them? Is it ‘fear of missing out’ or enthusiasm speaking? When there is something you want to experience, but you are not sure about this school or facilitator – ask yourself: ‘Is this really the only place where I can learn/experience this, or is there another place too?’ |
Books I love:
There are so many amazing books, as well as books that are not so great. My personal library is huge. These are some of my favorite books that I can recommend:
Consent
The Art of Receiving and Giving – Betty Martin
Tantra
Introduction to Tantra – Lama Yeshe
Tantra – Imma Ramos
Tantra Illuminated – Christopher D. Wallis
The Recognition Sutras – Christopher D. Wallis
Urban Tantra – Barbara Carrellas
Tantra – Jan den Boer & Caroline van Wijngaarden
Tantra – Margot Anand / Margo Anand’s books come with a strong warning that Anand’s approach to tantra is very heteronormative and binary (male/female interactions).
Wild Nights – David Deida / I’m not a fan of Deida’s approach of tantra and sexuality. This book is an interesting peek into life in a ‘crazy magic’ mystery school.
Kink/BDSM
The Ultimate Guide to Kink – Tristan Taormino
Radical Ecstasy – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
The New Topping Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
The New Bottoming Book – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
Sacred Kink – Lee Harrington
Dark Moon Rising – Raven Kaldera / This book comes with a trigger warning for explicit descriptions of intense physical scenes, as well as a warning this book mixes paganism/animist religion with kink. Not for the average pragmatist.
Sexuality
Come as You Are – Emily Nagoski
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston
The Erotic Mind – Jack Morin
The Healing Power of Pleasure – Julia Paulette Hollenbery
Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jetha
Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel
Getting It. A Guide to hot, healthy hookups and shame-free sex – Alison Moon
Girl Sex 101 – Alison Moon
A Celebration of Vulva Diversity – Hilde Atalanta
The Curious History of Sex – Kate Lister
Non-Monogamy
The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
Opening Up – Tristan Taormino
Love in Abundance – Kathy Labriola
The Jealousy Workbook – Kathy Labriola
Polysecure – Jessica Fern
Polywise – Jessica Fern
The Polyamory Workbook – Youngblood Gregory
Open – Rachel Krantz
The Polyamorists Next Door – Elizabeth Sheff / The results of researching polyamorous families over a long period of time. Here’s my review.
Stories from the Polycule – Elizabeth Sheff / features a story by me.
The Husband Swap – Louisa Leontiades
Gender/queer
Queer, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker
Gender, a Graphic Guide – Meg-John Barker
Life Isn’t Binary – Meg-John Barker
Rewriting the Rules – Meg-John Barker
Gender Outlaw – Kate Bornstein
Delusions of Gender – Cordelia Fine
Beyond the Gender Binary – Alok Vaid-Menon
Beyond the Binary: Thinking about Sex & Gender – Shannon Dea
Queer Magic – Tomás Prower
Nervous system/healing
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Vanderkolk
The Polyvagal Theory – Steven Porges
The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana
Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Disability / ableism
Disability Visibility – (edited by) Alice Wong
Personal Growth
Insanely Gifted – Jamie Catto
Rethinking Narcissism – Craig Malkin
It didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn / Intergenerational trauma and how it can impact you today.
The Wisdom of Psychopaths – Kevin Dutton
How Emotions are Made – Liza Feldman Barrett
The Body is not an Apology – Sonya Renee Taylor
Erotica
All books – Anaïs Nin
All books – Henry Miller
Lade Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence
The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl – Belle de Jour
Anaïs Nin – Leonie Bischoff
Cults & Power Dynamics
Disrupting the Bystander, when #metoo happens amongst friends – A.V. Flox
Cult Trip – Anke Richter
My Life in Orange – Tim Guest
Other
The Comfort Book – Matt Haig
Milk & Honey – Rupi Kaur
The Art of Asking – Amanda Palmer
Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott
All books – Raynor Winn
All books and poetry – Lucas Rijneveld
Do you want to buy a book? Consider buying books at the locally owned queer sexshop Tailbone (Rotterdam, NL – also check out their wide range of sex toys!), feminist bookstore Savannah Bay (Utrecht, NL), or your local indie bookstore.
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About me
Hi! My name is Wilrieke Sophia.
I will take you from feeling lonely, unworthy, and disconnected to feeling more connected with yourself, others, and completely turned on by life.
I also train facilitators to run a trauma-informed, inclusive, and consensual intimacy-based business like mine. Keep on reading to find out more about all the exciting workshops, products, and online courses I offer!
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