Sometimes you want something else than a fully guided workshop. A play party is the perfect mixture of a fully guided space, like-minded people who understand respect and consent, and freedom to play your way.
What is a play party?
A Play Party is a co-created space of endless exploration based on your own desires and boundaries. Within that playground, there are endless possibilities!
Co-creation means that we start together in a circle. There are agreements (like confidentiality, respecting relationship agreements, taking care of your own well-being, and a few more) that we share and, if you want to stay for the rest of the night, agree to by raising your hand.
We share our mildest and wildest desires as well as our fears. There will be heart-opening exercises, and reminders of how our YES, NO, and MAYBE’s feel in our bodies before we smoothly transition into free play.
There’s no focus on sexuality, you don’t have to do anything. A play party simply means that, unlike in most parts of our lives, éverything is welcome – also sexuality. We will remind you that drinking a cup of tea while being a witness is a perfect experience as doing sexy things you never did before. We will also remind you that sometimes these play parties are happenings beyond our wildest dreams, and sometimes they trigger the freak out of us, we feel stuck and excluded, not knowing what to do. This is amazing too, as now you have community and support to work with what is coming up, and break your patterns and release your trauma.
This event has no expectations or requirements. It is a space to be expressed and celebrated, to explore! You are welcome with all that you bring and who you are – at this moment.
What does a play party look like?
A play party generally starts with an afternoon program that includes a changing workshop. Wheel of Consent, kinky skills, bondage, energy sex, and massage are a few of the workshops we have had so far. These afternoon programs are not optional: they are part of the experience. Exercises in boundaries, desires, consent, and sharing are always integrated into the program.
After a shared (potluck) dinner, there’s the optional safer sex and play party etiquette talk for those who are new – or just as a reminder. There’s space for you to ask your questions.
Via some exercises, the evening slowly unfolds in a free flow that is guided by Wilrieke and their team of assistants. Team members are not participants; we are here to hold the container for you, support, assist, start you up or help you with your skill set (if you want to know more, feel free to check the ethical code we work with).
For who are play parties?
Play parties are a space for people with at least some experience in intimacy workshops. You know how to express boundaries and desires. People in different states of being clothed (or not), and sexy interactions around you don’t shock you. This is a space to celebrate every part of you. We welcome vanilla, kink (bring your things!), tantra, all genders, sexual preferences, cultural backgrounds, ages (though 18+), looks, and years of experience.
Whether you come to smooch, for a good conversation, to invite people to play or to witness – you design your experience.
Do know this: this is by no means a space for easy sex. We don’t tolerate predatory behavior, and people who cross boundaries, or ignore consent will be removed from the space without a refund.
Play parties are not for you when:
- You have never been to any intimate and/or sex-positive events before (examples are: tantric cuddle workshops, tantra, kink events. When in doubt, send us a message to check in whether this is for you). This can definitely be your first play party (it has been for many), but some experience with workshops will make your entrance into the realm of play parties easier.
- You are looking for easy sex. You won’t find it here. Likely you will be confronted with a needy/greedy attitude.
- You are uncomfortable with your own discomfort, triggers, and/or emotional processes.
Play parties are for you when:
You are sensually, erotically, and emotionally savvy enough to play nicely with others. You’re a good sharer, you take good care of your toys and you use your words. You are somebody who knows your own wants and boundaries and can communicate them clearly, and/or you’re someone willing to work and explore these areas for your own growth and enjoyment! You treat yourself and others with respect and kindness.
If you’re reading this, thinking, “I would love to come, but I don’t want to play,” PLEASE COME and enjoy the pressure-free company of like-minded individuals and exit whenever you wish. Really. There will be no pressure for you to do ANY activity at this party at any time.
Our biggest request is that you come with a fun-loving, warm, caring, open-minded, generous, thoughtful, compassionate, non-judgmental attitude and that you conduct yourself with the highest level of integrity possible.
This will be a very chill, fun, playful event where sex and nudity will most likely occur. Come relax. Come smooch. Come play. Come watch. (You know us: voyeurism is participation!)
All genders, bodies, and orientations welcome. Come as you are!
Frequently Asked Questions
What does the color code of this event mean?
We use a system of colors to explain what happens in an event with regards to sexuality:
- White: clothes stay on, there is no sexuality or nudity. (e.g. cuddle workshops.)
- Pink: partial nudity is allowed but genitals stay covered. Sensual play is possible. (e.g. energy sex workshops and pink play parties.)
- Red: full nudity and sexual interactions are possible (e.g. exploring kink, red play parties.)
How many people are coming?
This differs per event, and we can’t completely predict it. usually it’s between 20 and 55 people.
How is the man/woman ratio?
We try to avoid overrepresentation of any gender, therefore we balance ticket sales.
Can I come alone?
Absolutely! Most people do in fact.
I’m new. Will I feel at home?
We hope you do! We will do all we can to make you feel at home. many people share after their first (or many-ist) play party that they finally found a place where they can be themselves.
Can I come with my partner(s)?
Absolutely! If you wish to only play with them, that’s absolutely fine. We always try to explain exercises before we do them, so you can check in with your partner whether you want to do this together or apart.
Can I play with multiple people?
Are drugs/alcohol welcome in the space?
Nope. We hold a zero-tolerance policy. Mind-altering substances do just that. We want your head to be clear about your boundaries and desires.
Is this space queer-friendly?
We surely hope so! Most of us (i.e. the team) identify as queer ourselves. Wilrieke is queer AF. We know what it’s like to not feel welcome or unsafe, and we do what we can to make you feel as welcome and safe as possible. We can already tell you that we usually have a fair percentage of queer folks joining us, including trans folks, non-binary, etc. We love people with binders, strapons, packers, crossdressing and anything that makes you feel affirmed with the gender you identify with.
Practicalities during the event
What do I wear?
Wear what makes you feel comfortable during the workshops. Bring some layers, as you might get hot or cold. For the play party, you can play with what you want to embody or experience: maybe a hidden part that desires some unveiling? Is there a part you’d like to celebrate? Something that makes you feel safe to be in an exciting environment? Your pyjamas? Or do as I do and bring different options, so you can choose at the moment.
What do I eat?
To keep tickets at affordable pricing, we ask you to bring some (vegetarian) food to share. If you bring a bit more than just for yourself, we will end up with a luscious, abundant potluck. Made or bought with love is equally fine!
We will provide tea, water and some snacks throughout the day.
Do I bring toys or ropes?
You can bring ropes or other toys that may increase your pleasure for the play party in the evening. We will provide a wide range of things for shared use and to try out, partly sponsored by the amazing Tailboneshop.com.
Do I bring safer sex materials?
We bring different kinds of condoms, lubes, gloves, etc. If you need something specific (material or size), please bring it!
What if I don’t feel like touching someone?
Then you don’t. We will never push you to do anything, nor to do anything with anyone. You can come, decide to keep all your clothes on and not touch anyone – and that’s perfect. You can also always sit out an exercise – we encourage you to do so.
I’m a man and I only want to touch women. Can I?
You decide who you touch. We won’t mediate based on gender though. (This means: you are responsible for who you choose to touch.)
About tickets, cancellation & resales
How much is it?
You find that info in the ticket shop. There is a limited amount of budget tickets, meant for people with limited financial resources. We trust you to choose the ticket that fits your situation. As our current venue does not provide mattresses and we ask you to bring soft things, we have decided to not raise our prices by 6% this year (the expected inflation rate) to compensate you for your trouble.
Why gendered tickets?
We want to include everyone, whatever your gender or identification is. That means there’s space for everyone, without one group getting over-represented. Therefore there are tickets for people who identify themselves as male, female and other.
(We realize that there are many gender identities outside the binary norms. For practical reasons, we have summarized them as a category ‘other’ on the ticket sales pages. We apologize to anyone who does not feel represented by this category.)
Please only buy a ticket that represents your gender – and not any other ticket. Sold out = sold out.
What if I can’t come anymore?
There are administration costs involved, but refunds are possible until 14 days before the play party. You are free to sell your ticket to someone else (see Wilrieke’s terms and conditions for elaborate information about our refund options). Please respect the gender of the ticket (if you buy an ungendered ticket, e.g. a budget ticket, please sell your ticket to someone with a similar gender to yours). In case we send pre-/aftercare emails, forward them to the person you sold your ticket to. We don’t mediate in selling tickets.
What if tickets are sold out?
You can ask for a ticket in the FB-event or in the Exploring Deeper Online Community. Usually, there are multiple play parties planned ahead. There is no waitinglist.
What about Covid?
Check our COVID-19 protocols here. This page is continuously updated.
Do you email us before the event?
Ticket holders will be informed prior to the event through email. Always check your SPAM folder. If you have signed out for Wilrieke’s emails, these emails won’t reach you. Reach out to Wilrieke if you did not get any information five days before the event.
For all our workshops, Exploring Deeper’s Terms and Conditions apply.
Experiences from others:
This is what one of our first-time participants said:
“It’s wonderful to look back at my first play party, to reflect and feel how nervous I was.
What if everyone is able to enjoy, and not me? What if everyone is looking at me and not in a good way? What if everyone wants to stay and I want to leave? What if I am not good enough?
I entered the space and felt immediately good, but still small. The afternoon workshop helped me to lose my feeling of ‘I have to be the best’ in the group. There was an exercise ‘I wanna touch you for my own pleasure’ which was such an eye opener for me. Never thought about that before, always I gave touch for the other person. Never I was able to say no, and I realised that I endured so much in the past that I did not like it. I just did not dare to make it stop…
I lost my doubt about myself, I found trust, and felt so super good. First I felt I couldn’t take off my shirt, because of not feeling sexy enough… and later… lucky me I didn’t buy new clothes, because after a while during the play party, I was the whole time naked.
This play party was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was a life changing journey and I am so grateful for that! Every experience after was different for me and I still train to step up and share my desire.” – Johan
“Being part of Wilrieke’s amazing play party was like (re)discovering a part of myself that I’d always known was somehow missing. Her caring and deeply ethical approach to intimacy, and her insistence on safe and respectful experiences, made sure that everybody felt supported, understood, inspired and excited. Wilrieke is cool, dynamic, knowledgeable and dedicated to what she does. I don’t believe I’ve ever given anyone this sort of score before, but she gets 100% from me for a magical event full of light, warmth and exploration.” – Ivan
“Last Saturday Inga and I participated in a red play party for the first time. In the run-up to the event we have (of course) read your e-mail and we prepared together. What kind of clothes do we put on, what kind of people would come, what kind of agreements do we make with each other? Soon I noticed that I was mainly held back by my own prejudices, fears, jealousy and insecurities… In the end Inga and I decided to let go of agreements and fully trust our connection and our love.
And what a good decision that was! Like no other you knew how to create an environment in which we felt free and safe; an environment in which we could connect with others in a way that was so pleasant. But above all an environment in which Inga and I could really be together, in our passion – ánd we were able to experience connections with others and new emotions. The energy during the play party felt candid and loving. So many beautiful people, so much attention for each other and so much freedom… it felt like coming home.
Inga and I had sex in an open space with 30 others… and how wonderfully liberating that was. Freedom and safety to be able to do (and also leave) what feels good. Connecting with others on every possible level and in every possible way. Nothing has to be done and everything is allowed. See and be seen. The we have experienced the energy of this group of people as warm, frank and precisely that created the possibility to do what we did.
In all honesty? I didn’t expect in my wildest dreams that we would be so passionate. That I can make love with so many people around me… But the truth is, we enjoyed it. We enjoyed each other, the looks of the people around us, the sounds, the smells. But much more important to us was courage and confidence. Courage to ask the other person about what you need and trust to be heard. And in that we, as a couple, succeeded with flying colors. Closer and more connected than ever. Together we can do everything and together we will also continue adventurous journey. Blind trust and boundless love.
Wilrieke, we are so immensely happy that we have made the choice to participate in your workshop. Inga and I agree that it was a life changing event for us and we are going to meet again. Maybe for a red play party and maybe at another event. You are an insanely beautiful person; thank you for making this possible for us. Lots of love, Inga & Michael.”
Find the upcoming play parties in our event overview!