Space between people feels different as a recovering codependent.
I’ve always identified as anxiously attached and insecure in relationships. And although I’ve been on a path of recovery for years, I can still fall into those patterns. However, I am changing, slowly.
Being in relationships—whether platonic, romantic, or otherwise—with people who have gone through similar transitions, who understand the process and support it without trying to save me from it, has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve found so far.
I’m learning to understand that a request for space is not the same as a rejection. That doing things with other people doesn’t (necessarily) say anything about my relationship with them. That spending more time together doesn’t always mean a better connection.
I’m learning that my eagerness to see people and spend as much time as possible with them is partly enthusiasm, but it can also be a codependent trait—especially when I bypass checking in with myself about what I actually need.
I’m learning that not always leaning toward the other person can feel like being distant, but as I get used to it and relax, it starts to feel like a healthy distance instead of forced closeness.
I’m learning that, actually, I may be someone who needs more time and space to myself than I ever thought.