What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice.

It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’ want the same. Being overly sensitive to their preferences and going out of my way to please them. Hold back what I want to say, or my emotions, to not bother them.

It’s behavior that costs a lot of brain space, tons of energy, and I really wonder if it helps. I mean, if people would only like me for my pleasing behavior, what would that connection bring me?

Diving deeper into realizations, letting go a bit more, trusting myself a little more.