Over the years there have been many tools that helped me grow from a shy girl into the woman I am today. Kink and BDSM are amongst my favorites.
They receive a lot of judgment. But to me, they have been lifesavers. They have helped me step outside the social paradigms around gender, where women follow and should not be loud, and where men are not supposed to follow and show emotions. Both have helped me state my boundaries and desires clearly, and from an embodied space. It made me feel my power – and have the courage to express it.
It changed my life in more places than just the bedroom; Kink and BDSM made me a better entrepreneur, partner, friend, and mother.
Some popular materials around kink and BDSM give a whole different picture though. Especially ’50 Shades of Grey’ (but also many other books and videos calling themselves ‘erotic’) make the whole scene cringe. The books and movies are nothing close to the conscious versions we work with. These are all about coercion, abuse, the crossing of boundaries, and more. A disastrous example of what it could be like: healing, expansive, consensual, and beautiful.
In this video I take you with me on a walk, and I share a bit more about my personal story with these modalities.
