It’s not my first pride month as part of the LGTBQ+ community, but 2022 is the first though where I’m visibly queer, as I’m in a relationship with another woman.

It’s funny how different things are, compared to being in a straight-presenting relationship.

Just a few things:

– Way more people respond to seeing me and my partner now my partner presents as a woman, and not as a man. Somehow it seems less threatening in a way. People find us cute, approachable, and interesting. Sometimes for a date, sometimes for a chat. It’s a thin line between being accepted and being fetishized.

– I realize there are many countries in the world where I would want to go on holiday with my partner as the chances to be violated, harmed, or otherwise unsafe are real. It’s something I had never thought of before.

– People perceive me as queerer, although I’m just as queer as before.

– There’s more explaining. Did I change my mind, going from men to women? How were my kids conceived? How does it work with the complex family structures that we’re creating?

What I have been realizing over the past seven months of being together, is that relating with a woman feels absolutely natural. I’m good at it. I love it. I love this specific human being more than I could imagine. It’s different from a straight presenting relationship in many ways. Sx is different. Dynamics are (partially) different.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of a partner. So here it is.


And I’m darn proud. Of her, of me, of us.

Photo by Monique Darling❤️