Frequently Asked Questions

Extra info on play parties is mentioned here. Extra info on social behavior during events here.

What does the color code of this event mean?

We use a system of colors to explain what happens in an event about sexuality:

  • White: clothes stay on, and there is no sexuality or nudity. (e.g. cuddle workshops.)
  • Pink: partial nudity is allowed but genitals stay covered. Sensual play is possible. (e.g. energy sex workshops and pink play parties.)
  • Red: full nudity and sexual interactions are possible (e.g. exploring kink, red play parties.)

What workshop should I go to (next)?

This is a web that shows most of the workshops hosted by Wilrieke in a web, with some suggestions on how to navigate through the offerings. Please understand this is by no means a hierarchical model: white workshops are not ‘less’ than red ones. This is just a simplification to show which workshops fall in which color code.

How many people are coming?

This differs per event, and we can’t completely predict it. Usually, it’s between 20 and 55 people. Weekend workshops often have around 20-35 participants. Play parties can have more participants. For me, between 30-50 participants in play parties are ideal: enough people for lively dynamics and choice, and not that many that you don’t get to know everyone.

What is the man/woman ratio?

We try to avoid overrepresentation of any gender, therefore we balance ticket sales. We actively welcome all genders, sexual preferences, etc. We have a queer perspective on gender (i.e. not the binary, heteronormative view).

What is the average age of participants?

The people in our workshops are anywhere between 18 and 80+ years old. The average age will be around 25-45, with a fair amount of people between 45-60, and fewer people 25- and 60+. We welcome all (legal) ages.

Will people not want to interact with me based on age?

After hundreds of events and thousands of participants, we can tell you that neither age, gender, looks, or body shape are the defining factors in whether people want to interact with you. It’s usually something else, which can be e.g. smell, but most often is a(n unconscious and unintentional) way in which we hold off people ourselves.

Can I come alone?

Absolutely! Most people do in fact.

I’m new. Will I feel at home?

We hope you do! We will do all we can to make you feel at home. Many people share after their first (or many-ist) play party that they finally found a place where they can be themselves.

Can I come with my partner(s)?

Absolutely! If you wish to only play with them, that’s absolutely fine. We always try to explain exercises before we do them, so you can check in with your partner whether you want to do this together or apart.

Can I play with multiple people?

Absolutely.

Are drugs/alcohol welcome in the space?

Nope. We hold a zero-tolerance policy towards mind-altering substances (with an exception for chocolate, and a tolerance for coffee you may bring). We want your head to be clear about your boundaries and desires.

Is this space queer-friendly?

We sure hope so! Most of us (i.e. the team) identify as queer (meaning ‘anywhere on the LGTBQ+ spectrum, including queer, trans, non-binary folks’) ourselves. Wilrieke is queer AF. We know what it’s like to not feel welcome or unsafe, and we do what we can to make you feel as welcome and safe as possible. We can already tell you that we usually have a fair percentage of queer folks joining us, including trans folks, non-binary, etc. We love people with binders, strapons, packers, crossdressing, and anything that makes you feel affirmed with the gender you identify with.

I am easily overwhelmed. Can I come?

We try to make the space as inclusive as we can, with the options the venue offers. Check the paragraph on accessibility to find out what the options/limitations per venue are. In general: there always is a ‘non-engagement zone’, a dedicated place in the room where you can be without interacting with anyone else. There are always noise-canceling headphones available, and blindfolds. When we can, we try to create a gradient with music volume and lighting (though that’s not always possible). We encourage you to take breaks, take it slow, find a spot to process potential overwhelm (usually there is a comfortable spot outside the workshop space as well) – and you can always return at your own pace.

Practicalities during the event

What do I wear?

Wear what makes you feel comfortable during the workshops. Bring some layers, as you might get hot or cold. For play parties, you can play with what you want to embody or experience: maybe a hidden part that desires some unveiling? Is there a part you’d like to celebrate? Something that makes you feel safe to be in an exciting environment? Your pajamas? Or do as I do and bring different options, so you can choose at the moment.

What do I eat?

To keep tickets affordable, we ask you to bring some (vegetarian) food to share for events that include lunch and/or dinner. If you bring a bit more than just for yourself, we will end up with a luscious, abundant potluck. Made or bought with love is equally fine! We will provide tea, water, and some snacks throughout the event.

Where do I sleep?

Unless specifically mentioned, events do NOT include lodging. All our event spaces are near hotels. In Utrecht, you can find hotels around the Central Station, which is within walking distance from the venue. Amsterdam Weesperzijde is close to the Volkshotel. Amsterdam Baarsjesweg is near Hotel Not Hotel, Conscious Hotel Vondelpark, and Hotel Heye 130.

Do I bring toys or ropes?

You can bring ropes or other toys that may increase your pleasure for the play parties. We will provide a wide range of things for shared use and to try out, partly sponsored by the amazing Tailboneshop.com.

Do I bring safer sex materials?

We bring a wide range of safer sex materials, depending on the nature of the event. We always bring hand sanitizer. For pink events we bring gloves, and toys linked to the topic. For red play parties, we bring different condoms (including vegan, latex-free, and some sizes), dental dams, lubes, gloves, lots of toys, etc. If you need something specific (material or size), please bring it yourself.

What if I don’t feel like touching someone?

Then you don’t. We will never push you to do anything, nor to do anything with anyone. You can come, decide to keep all your clothes on and not touch anyone – and that’s perfect. You can also always sit out an exercise – we encourage you to do so.

I’m a man* and I only want to touch women*. Can I?

(*or any other gender with a specific preference for gender). You decide who you touch. We won’t mediate based on gender. (This means: you are responsible for whom you choose to touch or not.) This means that as a man, in exercises where we pair up, you may not find a woman. In such a case, you can choose to pair up with another person or sit the exercise out. We do not tolerate homo/trans/specific-folk phobia, but we do, of course, respect your personal choices and boundaries.

About tickets, cancellations & resales

How much is it?

You find that info in the ticket shop. There is a limited amount of budget tickets, meant for people with limited financial resources. We trust you to choose the ticket that fits your situation. As our current venue does not provide mattresses and we ask you to bring soft things, we have decided to not raise our prices by 6% this year (the expected inflation rate) to compensate you for your trouble.

Why gendered tickets?

We want to include everyone, whatever your gender or identification is. That means there’s space for everyone, without one group getting over-represented. Therefore there are tickets for people who identify themselves as male, female, and other*.

*We realize that there are many gender identities outside the binary norms. For practical reasons, we have summarized them as a category ‘other’ on the ticket sales pages. We apologize to anyone who does not feel represented by this category.

Please only buy a ticket that represents your gender – and not any other ticket. Sold out = sold out. If you buy a ticket for a gender you do not identify with, we have the right to not let you enter the event, and send you home without a refund (this is the policy since it happened often that men “accidentally” bought ‘other’ tickets when male tickets were sold out. We do not tolerate this).

What if I can’t come anymore?

There are administration costs involved, but refunds are possible. See our terms and conditions for elaborate information about our refund options. You are free to sell your ticket to someone else up to the last moment. Please respect the gender of the ticket. In case we send pre-/aftercare emails, forward them to the person you sold your ticket to. We don’t mediate in selling tickets.

What if tickets are sold out? / Is there a waiting list you can put me on?

You can ask for a ticket at the FB event or in the Exploring Deeper Online Community. Usually, there are multiple play parties planned. There is no waiting list.

I can’t make it anymore. Can I transfer my ticket to a future event?

Unfortunately, we cannot do this. From an organizer’s perspective, transferring a ticket to a future event is the same as giving a full refund. Your place remains empty and unpaid during the event, and you take up a spot in the future event that cannot be sold either. For an organizer that means that for two paid places, only one gets paid – i.e. the same as asking for a full refund.

To help you out, we made it as easy as possible to resell your ticket to someone else up to the last moment in the Exploring Deeper Online Community.

I’m a man and tickets for men are sold out. Can I buy an ‘other’ ticket?

No. And if you do, we won’t let you in. This has been tried too often despite our information everywhere. It’s not cool, it’s not okay, and we won’t give you a refund. When tickets are sold out, buy a ticket for another event, or try to buy a ticket from someone selling his.

Traveling & Accessibility

Here is an overview of the three main venues I use. Check the event description to find out where the event of your choice is.

Utrecht Kanaalweg

Accessibility

The workshop space is on the first floor. The elevators in this building are out of function – the owner won’t fix this to our regret. There are stairs to enter the building. On the ground floor is an all-access bathroom. The workshop is on the first floor. There are two stairs to get there. There are several bathrooms on the first floor (no all-access bathrooms), and a kitchen with lunch facilities, including a fridge and a microwave. There are mattresses in the workshop space. There is no shower. There is a steep gradient in music volume and lighting in the room.

Traveling

The venue is easy to reach:

CAR – There is free parking available on site.

PUBLIC TRANSPORT – From Utrecht Central Station there is a bus to take you to the venue in about 15-20 minutes, or you can walk in 20 minutes. Use www.9292ov.nl to plan your trip.

Utrecht CS is a 20 minute walk. There are several hotels in this area.

Amsterdam West

Accessibility

The event takes place on the ground floor of a building. The main entrance is accessible, but there is a step towards the workshop room. This is avoidable via the side entrance from the street. There is an all-access bathroom in the kitchen/hall after the main entrance. The lighting of the studio has a slight vibration to it that is occasionally hard to avoid. There is a ventilation system that hums in the background. This specific venue unfortunately has NO MATTRESSES – we ask our participants to bring mattresses themselves (we provide several for folks who can’t bring their own). There is a large fridge in the workshop space. There is a microwave in the hallway. There are no showers.

Traveling

CAR – Use www.routenet.nl to plan your route. Maybe carpooling feels like an option for you; feel free to post your request in de event on Facebook.
PARKING – Parking is expensive in the area. You may need to park your car a few streets away. Check www.prettigparkeren.nl. P+R is the cheapest solution (1€!), find options here.
PUBLIC TRANSPORT – Use www.9292ov.nl to plan your trip.

Hotel Not Hotel Amsterdam is the nearest hotel.

Amsterdam Weesperzijde upstairs & downstairs

Accessibility

Downstairs

The specific venue for this weekend is located on the ground floor of a building. There is a height difference to enter the venue through the front door that may cause problems for wheelchairs. There is a backdoor without height differences. There is a bathroom that is not a specific all-access bathroom, but that is fairly spacious and private. There are stairs to reach the kitchen area. There are mattresses and you can lie down as much as you can. There is a small fridge. There are no cooking/heating facilities. There are (shared) showers.

Upstairs

Accessibility of this specific venue: there are steep stairs to access the building. There is no elevator. One inside, there are bathrooms on the workshop floor. the bathrooms are not specifically all-access. There are mattresses and you can lie down as much as you can. There is a separate room where bags etc can be stored, which can also be used as an outbreak room with minimalized stimuli. There is a small fridge. There are no cooking/heating facilities. There are (shared) showers.

Traveling

Reaching the venue:

CAR – Use www.routenet.nl to plan your route. Maybe carpooling feels like an option for you; feel free to post your request in de event on Facebook.
PARKING – Parking is expensive in the area. You may need to park your car a few streets away. Check www.prettigparkeren.nl. A cheaper option is the P+R. www.bereikbaaramsterdam.nl gives more information about this.
PUBLIC TRANSPORT – From Amsterdam Amstel Station it is a 15-minute walk. From both Amsterdam CS and Amsterdam Amstel metro 51-53-54, stop Wibautstraat is close by. Use www.9292ov.nl to plan your trip.

Volkshotel is within short walking distance.

More questions

What about Covid and monkeypox?

Check our protocols here. This page is continuously updated.

Do you email us before the event?

Ticket holders will be informed before the event through email. Always check your SPAM folder. If you have signed out for Wilrieke’s emails, these emails won’t reach you. Reach out to Wilrieke if you did not get any information five days before the event.

Can I play with assistants? What about when they join as participants?

All of that is explained in our Ethical Code of Conduct. You can find it here.

For all our workshops, Exploring Deeper’s Terms and Conditions apply.