Therapy is amazing. We need safe spaces to discuss what is bothering us and learn new ways of looking at ourselves, others, and the world. But it’s not everything. We also need to expose ourselves to (challenging but not too challenging) experiences in a safer way so that our nervous system experiences it’s safe in that specific experience – and our brains can rewire.
Not an easy task. It needs a lot of sensitivity, and requests (or boundaries) towards others. You may go too far and shake yourself up too much, and need repair before going at it again.
For these experiences, I like the ‘green-orange-red’ color code for communicating with the people around me. Green means I’m well within my boundaries and in, or close to, my comfort zone. Orange means I’m challenged, and might need adjustments, but still there. And red means I’m in survival mode or worse (shut down, freeze, gathering more harm), and need to come back to safety.
Photo credits: Marijn Kuijper
