by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice. It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’...
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma
I’m slowly getting more clarity on how emotions can escalate without reason in my head. It starts with unease in the body. I may feel down, restless. There may be a reason for that: feeling a bit lonely, waiting for a message from a loved one, practical...
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
Coregulate first… When there is something between you and your partner, or someone you love, and it’s possible, coregulate first. The talk can feel urgent, words may burn to leave your mouth. But when it comes from a place of an active trigger, whatever...
by Wilrieke | Jun 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Dealing with Trauma, Relationships
If you are insecurely attached, in this case, anxious or disorganized (aka the worst of both worlds), time separated from your partner(s) can be hard. Especially if there is trauma or harm involved too. My partner is gone for two weeks. Here’s a bit on how...
by Wilrieke | May 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships
The words we choose to talk to ourselves and others with, matter. Over the last weeks, I kept saying that I didn’t want a relationship and that when I met the Wizard I went in kicking and screaming. Until he, wisely, mentioned that I linked him to something I...
by Wilrieke | Mar 23, 2023 | Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Pleasure
What impacts our capacity to experience pleasure? I believe it’s about noticing what our senses register, noticing how that feels in the body (interoception), and letting go of any thoughts, conditionings, shame, fear, etc that may limit pleasure. And when...
