The false belief that women don’t like sex (and the ones who do are scary)

The false belief that women don’t like sex (and the ones who do are scary)

Men seem to have a deep belief that women need to be tricked into sex. In my opinion, from the same belief that women don’t like sex, comes a widespread phenomenon that women who do embrace their sexuality and openly vibrate a sexual invitation are considered scary or intimidating. Over history sexual active women have been shunned. We’ve ended up at the stake for embracing our sexuality as far back as history goes. Calling a woman a whore is nothing new, as well as the more recent term of slut-shaming. What’s the problem? Why is a sexual woman so scary? Why is it safer to believe that women don’t like sex and should be conquered? Maybe it has to do…

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How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

Lately I have been feeling very grateful for the amazing people in my life. I work with some of the most inspiring teachers on this planet. I date gorgeous, talented men and women. I have awesome friends who love the same things as I do, like cuddling for hours, having deep conversations or singing mantras and making music. Even most of the people I randomly meet in the streets are wonderful and amazing. Random encounters turn into deep connections that last seconds or months. It hasn’t always been like that. On the contrary. For years I felt like I didn’t belong. The outcast that nobody understood or actually really liked. But also more recently I had lovers who weren’t honest…

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Can I have Slow Sex Please? – Four Important Insights I gained in Tantra

Can I have Slow Sex Please?

There is wine that you buy, just to buy wine. You quickly glance over the bottles and end up with a 5 liter box of cheap Merlot. Nothing wrong with that. The next time you spend even less time, heading for the same Merlot right away. You liked it last time, didn’t you? Sex can be like that Merlot, or like a slowly ripened, full bodied affair. Nothing wrong with a quickie, but there is so much more than the fast-and-easy fix for releasing tension, frustration or just that urge for a moment of sensory high. I like Slow Sex. These are some lessons I learned from practicing Tantra. I like diversity and exploration I like Merlot. But I also…

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Sex as a Path to Personal Growth

London Faerie and Wilrieke Sophia

There are many ways to get to know ourselves better. There are ways that are accepted, ways that are less accepted sand ways that are considered controversial. And maybe sex is the most controversial of them all. The naked truth How does it work then? Why is sex such a great pathway to personal growth? Isn’t it just a matter of lust or a biological urge for reproduction? Sure. There are a lot of pheromones, hormones and thousands of years of evolution involved in our reproductive habits. Sex as a tool to keep a species from extinction. But sex can be a tool for evolution on the base of an individual too. Sex can teach us about our weak spots,…

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Men: Why she hates your messages – the brutal truth

Why she hates your messages

This article is based upon my experiences with men contacting me. It’s absolutely generalized. I challenge you read it and to feel what touches you. Do you recognize my experiences? Do you feel triggered or offended? See the next paragraphs as my present to you. I tell you what works for me and the wise, strong, gorgeous women I see around me. Let these paragraphs penetrate you. Is this about you? Keeping violation intact through silence Too many women are silent when they feel offended by men, as well as I’m sure there are men feeling offended by women or other men and keeping their mouths tightly shut. By being silent we keep the vicious circle of hurtful communication and…

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Do you fake your pleasure?

Do you fake your pleasure?

Humans are innate pleasers, always ready to put an effort into pleasing others. We laugh at jokes that aren’t funny to not embarrass the speaker, we kiss our cologne-smelling aunties on the cheek and we keep going to birthdays of people we don’t even like. Our sex life is no exception. Research shows that 70% of the women and 30% of men fake orgasms. But I believe that all of us fake pleasure in sex in a much more subtle way. The approval addiction Humans are addicts for love and attention. Without approval, many of us feel insecure, unloved and lonely. The amount of approval we need varies from a little to constant approval-seeking. How did we end up this…

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I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

My partner and I have been in a relationship for eight years now. In the beginning, sex was challenging. I was afraid of showing my naked body. Negative experiences from the past made me afraid to let go of control about the situation. Gradually that changed. My partner told me how beautiful he believed I was – until I started to believe it too. We started to experiment with positions and places, getting to know each other’s bodies well and knowing how to pleasure each other. Sex was still often a race towards an orgasm (preferably both at the same time) and when there were no orgasms, it felt like we failed in a way, but nevertheless we had fun.…

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Do you need to have it all?

Do you need to have it all?

Can you smell a delicious dish and not eat it? Can you enjoy an intense hug without needing to kiss her? Can you enjoy kissing her without needing to have sex? Can you have sex without needing an orgasm? So often we are one step ahead in our head, not being present in this current moment. We forget to enjoy what is in front of us, what we have, and trade it for thoughts of how it could be better, leaving us unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Try it today: be present with what is there. If you find your thoughts moving to the next step, smile at yourself, acknowledge your longing, and see if you can let go. It just might…

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Polyamory: Should I start with a monogamous relationship? (Video)

Whats the best foundation for polyamory

“Do I need to build a foundation as a monogamous couple before I open my relationship, or can we have an open relationship right from the start?” It’s a common question for people who want to explore open relationships, or polyamory, when they are about to start a new relationship. I believe either way can work: building a foundation as a monogamous couple, or having an open relationship right from the start. Both ways have their pro’s and con’s. In my experience, starting right away with an open relationship makes it easier to set the other person free, as I knew being intimately involved with others was part of the game plan from the beginning. On the other hand, learning…

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Invitations to send in Questions about Polyamory (video)

Polyamory, open relationships, non-monogamy, or – as I call it- a free relationship. To me, having this non-conventional way of relating with my partner that may include intimacy with other people is part of a life based on growth, love and passion. Many people have many questions about this topic. I invite you to send me your questions about polyamory, open relationship and non-monogamy. I will make videos in which I answer your questions. [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw8fHhb3_T8]

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