(Video) I don’t always like my open relationship. And why am I more afraid than my partner?

David and I have an open relationship. For us, that means we are choosing to be primary partners, like in any ‘normal’ relationship. Besides that, we give each other full freedom to openly explore intimacy with others. I’m one of those persons who doesn’t find this just easy. Sometimes I don’t like being in an open relationship at all, but admitting that to myself feels difficult. And how can it feel that I feel like having different boundaries about a certain thing at the same time? How to deal with the insecurity? And why do some people find open relating more difficult than others (and why is it often so that one partner feels more challenged than the other)? These…

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Don’t Live In a Box

Those days where I feel unhappy, stuck and trapped, I notice I’ve been putting myself in a box again. It’s a thing. A paradoxical thing. Humans like to put their world into boxes. Other humans, their calendar, their work, their relationship, their sexuality, other connections to other humans… I noticed that when I boxed myself heterosexual I felt weird about feeling attracted to women. Feeling stuck in a worldview where it didn’t make sense to like other than men. But when I discovered that queers make my knees shake, bisexuality felt like a limiting option too. I had exchanged one box for another, and again I felt stuck, trapped and didn’t understand myself. So I stepped out of the sexuality…

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Conscious Relationship Design: Different Ways in Which we Love Each Other (video)

What if you express your love to your partner(s), and they feel attacked or frustrated? We have different ways of expressing love to others, and without realizing this, your attempts to come closer might draw you further away from each other. David and I share about our processes of loving each other and getting to know each other’s love language.  

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(Video) Two Women Talking about (Open) Relating #1

Wilrieke & May

My dear friend May Rompas and I love to share with each other about our relationships. And as we do that anyway, we thought you might like to be a fly on the wall and listen to our conversations. Here’s the first talk we share, where we talk about what our relationships look like, and how we deal with feelings of insecurity and fear.  

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(Video) What are Safer Spaces, and Why are They Important?

A safer spaces is a consciously designed environment to practice life. It’s a laboratory where you can practice doing things and see what the effect is. It’s not a place to do things right. Workshops might leave you with a high, bit not change your life. Embodied imprints can. Choose your workshops, play parties and other safer spaces wisely.

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Conscious Relationship Design: Is This Really Impossible?

When I met David some months ago (with a month being a lifetime) and we decided to step into a relationship, some of my dear friends mirrored to me that he seemed amazing, but that the relationship between us could never work. Him being a nomad wanting the experience of fatherhood, living in a community south of the equator and traveling a large chunk of the year, and even if he wouldn’t, he would still be far away. I being a mum with three kids in a weekly co-parenting schedule with a job that is a mission directly from my heart, and that requires my presence when I’m not with my kids. And I felt it too. Each time my…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Dealing with Triggers

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: The Meaning of Courage

Relating Beyond Paradigms - Courage

About the courage of relating beyond paradigms, as David and I say goodbye for a month. We are sharing some of the tools we are using for creating this relationship. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe!

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Conscious Relationship Design: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

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