by Wilrieke | Sep 27, 2023 | Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
Someone once told me that in the beginning of a relationship, you see the similarities between you. Then, after some months and getting to know each other better (and I would say, attachment patterns kicking in) you start to notice differences. It’s why many...
by Wilrieke | Sep 27, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
I’m the type who is always in a rush. So much to do, so much to accomplish! But also that ever-repeating story that there are goals to reach, and they need to be reached fast! Preferably (thank you Calvinistic upbringing!) with suffering along the way –...
by Wilrieke | Jul 22, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
Relationships are such an interesting place for research. With the Wizard, I am diving deep into the details of how an anxious/avoidant dynamic plays out for us. Simplified: where the anxious-leaning partner needs proximity, the avoidant-leaning partner needs space....
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice. It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’...
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
Coregulate first… When there is something between you and your partner, or someone you love, and it’s possible, coregulate first. The talk can feel urgent, words may burn to leave your mouth. But when it comes from a place of an active trigger, whatever...
by Wilrieke | May 1, 2023 | Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
As I am moving through the processes of letting people go and letting people in, I realize again: emotions don’t come in a linear fashion. Emotions come in waves, and those waves follow patterns. Now I see it, the pattern isn’t very hard to recognize: when...
