by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice. It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’...
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma
I’m slowly getting more clarity on how emotions can escalate without reason in my head. It starts with unease in the body. I may feel down, restless. There may be a reason for that: feeling a bit lonely, waiting for a message from a loved one, practical...
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
Coregulate first… When there is something between you and your partner, or someone you love, and it’s possible, coregulate first. The talk can feel urgent, words may burn to leave your mouth. But when it comes from a place of an active trigger, whatever...
by Wilrieke | Oct 4, 2022 | Attachment Dynamics, Dealing with Trauma, Nervous System and Trauma
The way my (disorganized) insecure attachment – the ways in which I relate to people – works is that I doubt myself a lot. Whether I’m too much, not enough, boring, demanding, avoiding, clinging, etc. Whenever I’m in a confrontation with...
by Wilrieke | Oct 4, 2022 | Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma
Notes from your #intimacyactivist I can understand you without tolerating your actions. My compassion doesn’t mean I have no boundaries. Over the last weeks, there have been many examples in my personal life and surroundings where these sentences felt like a...
