The Power of Bondage

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of kink. The play with polarities, leading and surrendering can be an amazing path of personal growth. Ropes are a tool that we can use to emphasize the leading or surrendering pole. Being tied, there’s literally nowhere to go as your ability to move is restricted. Ropes are so much more than ropes: it’s a complete experience.

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Sexual Nourishment – with Reid Mihalko

Join Reid Mihalko and me as we talk about s.xual nourishment, where we share some of our personal backgrounds around nourishment, as well as an overview of different ways of finding s.xual nourishment (hint: it’s not just about touching yourself) right at the end. We’re also mentioning our events in December. The first one is Date Your Species – with Reid Mihalko & Wilrieke Sophia.  

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B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

B-SMART

  Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we’re almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we’re afraid of rejection? Because we have no idea how to ask for what we want? There are many components to why communication around intimacy is not that easy. For people coming to my intimate spaces I’ve created an abbreviation: B-SMART. It covers all the basic information I found out I want to know before moving into any intimate interaction with another person. ⇝ We actually practice these conversations in my play parties, and though people fear their awkwardness, they often turn out to be the most…

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(Video) About Kinky Tantra #1

How Kinky Tantra can enrich your (Tantric) life and boost your chakras. Especially your manipura. Also: boundaries, desires, body image, polarity, dealing with emotions. This is the event I’m mentioning: The Kinky Tantra Intensive, November 16-18, 2018 NL Do you want me to teach in your country or at your event/festival? Feel free to contact me!

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Why I like Kink and BDSM

Why I like Kink

When I tell people I’m a fan of kink or BDSM, there are usually three possible responses. Many people have no idea what I’m talking about. Others wonder why someone on the path of personal growth would be interested in something abusive and violent as BDSM. And then there are some who understand and are happy to find someone who agrees. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and the many erotic novels that followed in its wake, BDSM – or the SM part of it, has become more mainstream as a flavor in the bedroom. But the picture these stories sketch a very limited, and in my opinion unhealthy, picture of this erotic art form. So what is it that…

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The emotional and spiritual benefits of deepthroating

Deepthroating

She looked up at the man standing in front of her. His eyes were filled with predator-like desire. She allowed her eyes to linger over his bare chest, following the trail of dark hairs from his belly button into his jeans. With a strong hand under her chin he lifted her head, locked her eyes with his gaze. Without losing eye-contact, he slowly unbuttoned his fly with his other hand. She could feel the heat coming from his groins, as she sat on her knees only centimeters away from his cock. He lowered his pants slowly until his cock sprung out, touching her lips. “Open your mouth”, he said. She licked her lips, lubricating her mouth as she was well…

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Sex as a Path to Personal Growth

London Faerie and Wilrieke Sophia

There are many ways to get to know ourselves better. There are ways that are accepted, ways that are less accepted sand ways that are considered controversial. And maybe sex is the most controversial of them all. The naked truth How does it work then? Why is sex such a great pathway to personal growth? Isn’t it just a matter of lust or a biological urge for reproduction? Sure. There are a lot of pheromones, hormones and thousands of years of evolution involved in our reproductive habits. Sex as a tool to keep a species from extinction. But sex can be a tool for evolution on the base of an individual too. Sex can teach us about our weak spots,…

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“How was your weekend?” What do you tell at the coffee machine?

how was your weekend?

Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to have an office job and meet my colleages on a Monday morning at the coffee machine, and being asked what my weekend was like. What would I answer? What would I not tell? What would I exaggerate? What would I feel insecure about? What would i brag about? Would I say something like: “My weekend was pretty okay. Went to a birthday party, met some friends in the city, had dinner with girlfriends and went to a Christmas market with my family.” Or something like: “My weekend was crazily intense! Dressed up as a panther for a sexy birthday party. Had a sleepover at my lovers’. Went to an eye-gazing experience…

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I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

My partner and I have been in a relationship for eight years now. In the beginning, sex was challenging. I was afraid of showing my naked body. Negative experiences from the past made me afraid to let go of control about the situation. Gradually that changed. My partner told me how beautiful he believed I was – until I started to believe it too. We started to experiment with positions and places, getting to know each other’s bodies well and knowing how to pleasure each other. Sex was still often a race towards an orgasm (preferably both at the same time) and when there were no orgasms, it felt like we failed in a way, but nevertheless we had fun.…

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Using sex to explore our shadow side

using sex to explore our shadow side

There are parts of our own personalities that we love, and parts that we have learned to hide. As a newborn, we don’t have a set of rules defining which behavior of our selves we like and don’t like. It’s our environment, mainly our parents, who teach us what to express and what to put away in a box and store away far from our surface. Especially in our sexuality we experience a lot of those hidden boxes, which makes sex an amazing pathway into exploring our shadow side. How is a shadow side created? Children have no filter like grownups do. When a person tells a child that something is shameful behavior (like screaming out loud or expressing rage…

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