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Similarities and Differences

by Wilrieke | Sep 27, 2023 | Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships

Someone once told me that in the beginning of a relationship, you see the similarities between you. Then, after some months and getting to know each other better (and I would say, attachment patterns kicking in) you start to notice differences. It’s why many...

My Anxious/Avoidant Dynamics – Pt1

by Wilrieke | Jul 22, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships

Relationships are such an interesting place for research. With the Wizard, I am diving deep into the details of how an anxious/avoidant dynamic plays out for us. Simplified: where the anxious-leaning partner needs proximity, the avoidant-leaning partner needs space....

Letting go of trying to be nice

by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating

What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice. It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’...

How not to let emotions escalate

by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma

I’m slowly getting more clarity on how emotions can escalate without reason in my head. It starts with unease in the body. I may feel down, restless. There may be a reason for that: feeling a bit lonely, waiting for a message from a loved one, practical...

Co-regulate first

by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating

Coregulate first… When there is something between you and your partner, or someone you love, and it’s possible, coregulate first. The talk can feel urgent, words may burn to leave your mouth. But when it comes from a place of an active trigger, whatever...

Our Choice of Words Matters

by Wilrieke | May 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships

The words we choose to talk to ourselves and others with, matter. Over the last weeks, I kept saying that I didn’t want a relationship and that when I met the Wizard I went in kicking and screaming. Until he, wisely, mentioned that I linked him to something I...
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Intimacy Coach & Educator | International Speaker  & Facilitator | Entrepreneur | Mother of Three

Newest Posts

  • Similarities and Differences
  • What’s the difference between relationships and friendships?
  • Changing the Pace of Relationships
  • My Anxious/Avoidant Dynamics – Pt1
  • Letting go of trying to be nice
  • How not to let emotions escalate
  • Co-regulate first
  • Dealing with an insecure, activated, nervous system
  • The Flip Side of Anxious Communication (spoiler: it’s a pitfall)
  • Our Choice of Words Matters

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