It’s no secret that I’m a fan of kink. The play with polarities, leading and surrendering can be an amazing path of personal growth. Ropes are a tool that we can use to emphasize the leading or surrendering pole. Being tied, there’s literally nowhere to go as your ability to move is restricted. Ropes are so much more than ropes: it’s a complete experience.
One of the most common pitfalls in the field of personal growth that I see is the belief that we have to face everything that triggers a response in us. After doing my research, I concluded this is absolute nonsense. Not everything we face is a challenge to overcome. Some things are a boundary, and we can say a loud and clear ‘no’ to the experience. Sometimes it can be a fine line whether something is a challenge or fear worth facing, or when it’s a boundary. I’m using my rollercoaster-analogy to explain how I feel the difference between what I do and don’t want to face.
To hold space. To be there for someone. What is that, what does it mean? To me, it means being fully present with someone, without wanting to change anything. It’s dropping my agenda about what they need to feel, understand, go through, drop, invite or change. It’s offering my heart, wide open, and ask for nothing on return. It’s letting go of my own desires while keeping my boundaries in check. It’s allowing the process to unfold without wanting it to move in any certain direction. It’s being able to drop taking any of the process personal. To drop the idea that I’m decreasing or increasing the depth of the process. It’s not about me. It’s being patient, taking the…
Change, in my experience, often comes in waves. And those waves can be very intense, and come with emotions, losing/gaining friends, feeling insecure, enthusiastic, disconnected or super aligned.
I noticed that, in me, having strong boundaries can also switch into a mechanism of creating distance.
To me, balance isn’t a steady state. Balance rather is the ‘average’ of extremes. Being introvert and extrovert. Being shy and outgoing. Bringing the kids to school, and traveling the world giving kinky workshops. Just to name a few..
I’m meeting with one of the people I love most in the world, Monique darling, at the marriage of our shared friends Eugene Hedlund and Fia Forstrom. Looking at the big love surrounding us, we share about the epicness of Love.
My dear friend Zoe Johansen and I both felt a massive shift when we started approaching people from a different mindset.
What do you think: is marriage an outdated institution, or something still worth considering?
Whether it’s the planets, karma, ancestral healing or simply life as it is. This week is moving a lot in me. Sending all of you who are in some sort of a rough spot so much love. I love you. You are lovable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Dec 13-15, Amsterdam (NL): A Weekend of Dating, Sexuality, Non-Monogamy and Play with Reid Mihalko & Wilrieke Sophia
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Feb 8-9, Amsterdam (NL). The Kinky Tantra Intensive: Adding Spice, Depth and Playfulness to All Your Relationships.
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Feb 22-23, Amsterdam (NL). Navigating Intimacy: Get to know your Navigation System for empowered intimate experiences.
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