by Wilrieke | Aug 29, 2024 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity
Therapy is amazing. We need safe spaces to discuss what is bothering us and learn new ways of looking at ourselves, others, and the world. But it’s not everything. We also need to expose ourselves to (challenging but not too challenging) experiences in a safer...
by Wilrieke | Feb 14, 2024 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
This week I’m spending time thinking about why my relationship with the Wizard feels increasingly secure (with moments where I do feel insecure), whereas in previous relationships the trend was often the other way. So why is that? Here are some things I am...
by Wilrieke | Jan 17, 2024 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Kink & BDSM, Sexuality
Kink has been a special teacher in my life. It has been one of the main keys to helping me process trauma, become more self-secure, and like myself much better. How? Some answers. 1. Consciously stepping into the role of following the other (submission) is totally...
by Wilrieke | Jan 17, 2024 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
One of the most powerful things I have learned lately is to separate the relationship from the situation. This is something I found harder in the past. Whenever the situation was uncomfortable, there was a crisis in the relationship. It was me versus them. But when...
by Wilrieke | Nov 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships
You may be well aware of the fight, flight, and freeze responses. But how well do you know fawning? Fawning is the survival strategy where you set aside your wants, needs, and boundaries to prioritize someone else’s, to maintain the connection to that person. It...
by Wilrieke | Nov 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships
SOMEONE ASKED ME THIS WEEKEND: “HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU FEEL SAFE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? How do you feel that in your body? How do you know?” That was a brilliant question, one that took me time to find words for. The thing is, it is hard to explain why I feel...
