by Wilrieke | Jan 17, 2024 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
One of the most powerful things I have learned lately is to separate the relationship from the situation. This is something I found harder in the past. Whenever the situation was uncomfortable, there was a crisis in the relationship. It was me versus them. But when...
by Wilrieke | Nov 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships
You may be well aware of the fight, flight, and freeze responses. But how well do you know fawning? Fawning is the survival strategy where you set aside your wants, needs, and boundaries to prioritize someone else’s, to maintain the connection to that person. It...
by Wilrieke | Nov 15, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Relationships
SOMEONE ASKED ME THIS WEEKEND: “HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU FEEL SAFE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? How do you feel that in your body? How do you know?” That was a brilliant question, one that took me time to find words for. The thing is, it is hard to explain why I feel...
by Wilrieke | Sep 27, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
I’m the type who is always in a rush. So much to do, so much to accomplish! But also that ever-repeating story that there are goals to reach, and they need to be reached fast! Preferably (thank you Calvinistic upbringing!) with suffering along the way –...
by Wilrieke | Jul 22, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Emotions & Insecurity, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating, Relationships
Relationships are such an interesting place for research. With the Wizard, I am diving deep into the details of how an anxious/avoidant dynamic plays out for us. Simplified: where the anxious-leaning partner needs proximity, the avoidant-leaning partner needs space....
by Wilrieke | Jul 14, 2023 | Attachment Dynamics, Courage & Fear, Dealing with Trauma, Emotions & Insecurity, Nervous System and Trauma, Non Monogamy, Polyamory & Open Relating
What the fear of abandonment means to me, is an internalized conviction that people won’t like me, unless I try really hard to be nice. It shows in behavior I often barely notice myself. Pausing, to notice what the other wants, and then ‘suddenly’...
