What Does it Mean to Hold Someone?

What Does it Mean to Hold Someone?

To hold space. To be there for someone. What is that, what does it mean? To me, it means being fully present with someone, without wanting to change anything. It's dropping my agenda about what they need to feel, understand, go through, drop, invite or change. It's...

Waves of Change

Waves of Change

Change, in my experience, often comes in waves. And those waves can be very intense, and come with emotions, losing/gaining friends, feeling insecure, enthusiastic, disconnected or super aligned.

Balance is in the Extremes

Balance is in the Extremes

To me, balance isn't a steady state. Balance rather is the 'average' of extremes. Being introvert and extrovert. Being shy and outgoing. Bringing the kids to school, and traveling the world giving kinky workshops. Just to name a few..  

The Epicness of Love – with Monique Darling

The Epicness of Love – with Monique Darling

I'm meeting with one of the people I love most in the world, Monique darling, at the marriage of our shared friends Eugene Hedlund and Fia Forstrom. Looking at the big love surrounding us, we share about the epicness of Love.

Thoughts about Marriage

Thoughts about Marriage

What do you think: is marriage an outdated institution, or something still worth considering?

Moving through Emotional Rough Patches

Moving through Emotional Rough Patches

Whether it's the planets, karma, ancestral healing or simply life as it is. This week is moving a lot in me. Sending all of you who are in some sort of a rough spot so much love. I love you. You are lovable. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

  Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we're almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we're afraid of rejection? Because we have no...

About Attracting Unavailable Partners

About Attracting Unavailable Partners

Attracting unavailable partners... It's a pattern! I have written about it before: I'm so tired of attracting unavailable people. And also, what is emotional availability anyway? But: if there's a pattern, there's something to learn. What's in this for me?

How Does Attraction Work?

How Does Attraction Work?

We all know the commercial form of attraction where we stand frozen, blown away by the magnificence of the other. Or love at first sight. But are that all the flavors of attraction? And what does that attraction that comes with so much firework actually mean?

Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

Open relating can be an escape from exploring deeper within (I wrote about it on my blog, just do a search for 'polyamory' on my website) - connecting with many can be an escape from facing fears. But connecting with multiple people can also be a deep dive into...

Choose People Who Choose You

Choose People Who Choose You

This image is the background of my WhatsApp conversations. ‘Choose People Who Choose You’, in big, fat, bold letters. It’s a constant reminder to myself to be me. It’s so easy to edit ourselves for the purpose of being liked. I guess it’s an implicit trait most of us...

To the Men I Love

To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved,   Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me.   Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers - or something in between and it may change every day.  ...

I’m a Yummy Woman

I’m a Yummy Woman

I love my body. I love my shapeshifting s'xuality and sensuality. I'm honoring my hunger, my animals, and my stillness. I feel free in my body that may not look average, but is mine. She's sensitive and playful, wise and strong. I may not appreciate her always, and...

Today I choose to not be small

Today I choose to not be small

My love, Today I choose not to be small. I choose to unfold all the little parts of me that desire to stretch and come alive. My choosing does not mean you have to step aside, or make yourself small instead. No, my love. I’m asking you to stand beside me, with your...

(Video) The Patterns in Insecure Relating

(Video) The Patterns in Insecure Relating

The players may change, but the play stays the same. Have you ever noticed that? Even though you may be working on yourself, some patterns in your relationship game seen to stay. I'm mainly anxiously attached, with a wired-in fear of abandonment. During a week long...

(Video) Coming Back to safety

(Video) Coming Back to safety

A few days ago I made a video in which I shared how my nervous system was shaken up by meeting someone.The sense of safety and welcoming blew me straight into an anxious response. Now, a few days later, I feel completely calm and relaxed again. Let me share you about...

Self-Care and Structure

Self-Care and Structure

I used to be so bad at self-care. Or at creating structure. I'm a person with a lot of energy. That means I can create a lot (while being a mum and whatnot) - it also means that I can procrastinate and be in my own way like a boss. Being in my own way is arguably the...

(Video) The Response of my Fearful Nervous System to Safety

(Video) The Response of my Fearful Nervous System to Safety

The desire for feeling safe with other people is a very legitimate desire, and an antidote to the sometimes obsessive quest for facing fears, and challenging ourselves way beyond our comfort zone. But what happens when a nervous system that is wired in a sensitive...

(Video) The Fine Line Between States

(Video) The Fine Line Between States

When are we avoiding, and when are we learning to show boundaries? When are we controlling, and where are we being clear with our desires? When are we facing our fears, and when are we pushing ourselves too much? When are we learning, and when are we surviving? It's...

Intimacy Coach & Educator | International Speaker  & Facilitator | Entrepreneur | Mother of Three

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