Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we’re almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we’re afraid of rejection? Because we have no idea how to ask for what we want?
There are many components to why communication around intimacy is not that easy.
For people coming to my intimate spaces I’ve created an abbreviation: B-SMART. It covers all the basic information I found out I want to know before moving into any intimate interaction with another person.
⇝ We actually practice these conversations in my play parties, and though people fear their awkwardness, they often turn out to be the most fun parts of the pre-play workshop!
It’s not just about STDs or whether someone has a partner. There are.more important things to know. Like: who are we after this interaction? If we have s’x, does that mean we’re partners or lovers – or not? (And yes, these all come from sometimes very uncomfortable lived-through experiences.)
Learning to speak our needs, desires and boundaries.
What a journey!
Practicing in designed workshop spaces have helped me tremendously to gain the capacity and skill to start doing it everywhere in my life. This poster will come with me to all my workshops and Play parties from now on!
P.s. If you want to use this tool: feel free, but please do visibly refer to the origins!