Some of us feel comfortable letting others close – that’s called a secure attachment pattern. But many of us don’t. When you have an anxious attachment pattern, it is scary to let partners come close.
Basically, there are two ways of avoiding deep intimacy: through a fear of abandonment and clinging on to it (anxious patterns), or through keeping an asthma length distance (avoidant patterns). These two ways can be alternatingly used by people who feel insecure in attachment, though most of us have a preferred tendency. I’m definitely more on the anxious side of things.
Exactly a year after my video ‘When anxious meets secure‘ I’m taking a look at things and share with you the two impacts I’m dealing with now I’m diving deeper into intimacy with someone who feels (more) secure.