When there’s a friend in need for help, you are there to help out. But can you ask for help when you long for someone to hold your hand?
Is it easier to give a present or to receive one?
Would you rather clean a friend’s house or ask a friend to clean your house?
Can you give sensual pleasure but also receive it with the same ease?
In the ideal situation the amount given = the amount received. When the amount received exceeds the amount given, you withdraw more energy from other people than giving them, leaving others empty and not fulfilled. More often the balance turns to the other side: people tend to give much more than they are able to receive. This situation can work for a little while, but when you give more than you are able to receive, the account will run empty at some point, leaving you bankrupt.
Why is it so difficult to receive?
To come to a situation in which receiving is possible, you need to admit that there is a need or a desire for something. Of course there are sensitive people in this world who do not need words in order to know someone is in need of something; the vast majority of people do need a clear statement of what is wished to be received.
Expressing your desire puts you in a vulnerable place. You express a weak situation, since there is a need. The person you express this need to can fulfill this need, but there is always a chance your need will not be fulfilled.
There can be lots of projections. “Maybe my need is weird.” “I should not ask people to do this for me, it’s such a burden!” “I’m not worth the effort.”
How to receive
You can always choose to allow yourself to receive. Of course, you can make the challenge long by identifying why you have difficulties receiving, what in your past caused this and how you can let go.
You can also choose to accept your need to receive something. When this need is important to you, then it is important. No further questions or remarks. Allow yourself to feel this need. Accept the need. Invite someone to fulfill this need and accept their presence and help.
I’m on a journey which I call my path to becoming a sexual person. In order to really enjoy connecting with someone I thought I had to get rid of my deepest fears. To identify limiting beliefs, spell them out, look them into the eyes and let them go.
That’s definitely part of the process.
But an even bigger part of the process is simply accepting my feelings of love, warmth, sensuality, lust and the strong desire to hold another person close. To share these feelings without feeling guilty or judge myself for having those feelings. I experienced that by just welcoming the feelings I was feeling, the whole experience of sharing emotions with another person became much more intense. I felt like all my chakras were spinning fast, I was totally present in the moment, feeling very comfortable, safe and loved.