Now this would be a title I could use each year, because each year will gift chances and changes. But in several ways 2014 felt like a tilting-point-kind-of-year. You know, that feeling that you built towards something, and suddenly the critical mass has been reached and the balance tips over. That kind of feeling.
There is one word that can describe this whole shift for me: abundance. Now you probably know the Law of Attraction, how we can attract everything we desire into our lives by believing it’s already there. Although I have been working on creating abundance for longer, the difference is that I now really feel abundant. I can feel a deepened trust in myself and the world. It reflects back as finances flowing in, amazing people, beautiful connections and deep life lessons learned.
A year ago I wrote down some desires in a blog post. Let me share with you what became of them:
- Enjoy amazing social connections; not settle for partial matches
In the past I would say ‘yes’ to many invitations, often stemming from a believe I wasn’t very likable. I felt flattered when someone wanted to connect with me, which resulted in experience that could be nice, but were never earth-shattering. Although there is abundance, there are limits to my time and energy. I want to focus those resources on the connections where I feel both of us gain value from them. I said ‘no’ to invitations from people, but also to lucrative business opportunities that didn’t feel like a 100% match.
The beautiful thing that happened, is that by rejecting the partial matches, new people and opportunities emerged that did feel like that ‘Hell YES!’, resulting in beautiful friendships, connections and collaborations.
- Enjoy my wonderful family. They are my mirror every day and teach me so much about me. I love you guys!
Motherhood is definitely a huge challenge. I love my kids, and I love being alone. This is not always as easy to combine. On the one hand I’ve been taking more me-time without feeling guilty about it. It makes my much more relaxed with my kids. I share my feelings with my kids, which results in amazing situations where those little girls understand that it is okay to cry. It’s not only me holding them when they feel sad or angry, but they also hold me when I feel emotional.
- Create new passive income streams (like an audio program) and increase existing streams
The audio program we planned on making, has been postponed because we found an amazing friend to create this with. Hopefully we will be able to create it this year!
I did create other passive streams like affiliate programs with Leonie Dawson and Parenting the Lefkoe Way.
- Experience an ayahuasca ceremony
In the start of 2014 I participated in an ayahuasca-weekend which was amazing. I wrote a long article about it.
- Continue exploring my sexuality. Learn to feel comfortable letting go of control, and also to release my wild side. Rawr!
I can say this has been an amazing ride this year! I learn to let go of control completely. BDSM and s/m are quite wonderful tools when you have someone you trust to experiment with, especially when there is space for a lot of communication about what triggers and emotions are being felt. I feel I just started this exploration. I feel more and more motivated to write about this subject! Sex is a wonderful tool to explore your wild and dark sides!
- Enjoy writing books, articles and be confident about my writing skills. Feeling comfortable labeling myself a writer/author
I have written 43 articles, about the same as last year. By now I feel quite comfortable labeling myself author, although to me labels are not something I identify myself with. I’m also writing a book (I’m 40.000 words into it), and this year will teach me if I’m going to publish it. It’s quite far out of my comfort zone as it is an autobiographical journey into intimacy and growth.
- Create a lot of time to create. Make music (ukulele, accordion, didgeridoo, French horn, singing), dance, write, draw, paint! Creating allows me to show others how I view the world. It gets energy flowing
I can be short here. This needs improvement.
- Take my horse to a forest. Play with my ponies. Continue and deepen my healing practice for horses and people
I started inviting people into my pasture. There were women-circles, we sang mantras, did yoga, meditated and connected with the horses. I also started giving private coaching sessions in the pasture.
- Totally fall in love with myself. Body & soul, lights & shadows. Release the need to feel invisible, unworthy, ashamed or insecure. To say completely confident: I’m beautiful and I love me!
This year has been a huge turning point for me in realizing how my thoughts are not true. There is so much negative self-talk going on that I made myself small for many years. I don’t want to be small anymore. I want to shine and radiate!
Even more amazing things happened:
– Sebas and I were on Dutch national television, sharing about our way of living.
– We bought a new car about twice the size of our old car.
– I’ve been exploring an amazing connection with a couple in the first half of the year.
– We made more money than ever before (including the years we worked for a boss).
– I’ve been speaking at events, which was received very well!
– I’ve kissed someone before sharing a single word.
– I’m involved in multiple 4D connections that I love to keep exploring.
– Together with our kids we went to several festivals with a lot of dancing and hot tubs.
– I participated in several tantra workshops, did a retreat with Jeff Foster.
How can 2015 be even better?
If 2014 was amazing, how can 2015 be even better? There is still a lot of negative self-talk going on. I want to dive deep into these emotions and release them, learning to feel safety and comfort in myself, and releasing the need to control others more.
I’ve made some goals that I love to share with you. I believe that writing down goals is a first step to realizing them. Sharing them publicly is definitely a next step before the most important step is coming: doing it.
In 2015, I want to:
- Have an income of €100,000
- Host a 2-day workshop
- Organize and facilitate workshops for teachers I really believe in
- Publish a book
- Enjoy writing blog articles
- Send out a regular newsletter (I’m still not good at that)
- Go to a kinky party
- Keep exploring my sexuality
- Buy a new couch
- Host cuddle workshops and soirées about non-monogamy or other topics
- Create that audio program
- Travel abroad with family, alone, with a friend
- Take plenty of time alone
- Let go of more insecurities
- Spend less time online and more time outside
- Find new ways of giving more value to the world
What will your 2015 look like?