Exploring Deeper ~ Wilrieke Sophia

B-SMART: A Tool for Navigating Edgy Spaces

Navigating edgy spaces can be, well, edgy. Most of us grew learning very little about clear communication. Especially around intimacy. It seems to me often we’re almost secretly trying to approach someone. Because we’re afraid of rejection? Because we have no idea how to ask for what we want? There are many components to why communication around intimacy is not that easy. For people coming to my intimate spaces I’ve created an abbreviation: B-SMART. It covers all the basic information I found out I want to know before moving into any intimate interaction with another person. ⇝ We actually practice these conversations in my play parties, and though people fear their awkwardness, they often turn out to be the most…

“Meditate every Day for Ten Minutes. Unless You have No Time…”

‘Meditate ten minutes every day. Unless you’re busy. Then meditate an hour.’ It’s so easy to cut down on self-care, slowing down, you-time. Don’t. You’re the most important resource that you have. And even if you don’t have time: Stop. Take a deep breathe. Look at a tree, a plant in your office, or this photo. Put a hand on your hard. Take another deep breathe. Notice gravity. Feel your hand. Welcome back. Photo was taken last week horseriding in the Dutch jungle. Unfiltered in all possible ways.

(Video) About Attracting Unavailable Partners

Attracting unavailable partners… It’s a pattern! I have written about it before: I’m so tired of attracting unavailable people. And also, what is emotional availability anyway? But: if there’s a pattern, there’s something to learn. What’s in this for me?

(Video) Attraction

We all know the commercial form of attraction where we stand frozen, blown away by the magnificence of the other. Or love at first sight. But are that all the flavors of attraction? And what does that attraction that comes with so much firework actually mean?

(Video) Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

Open relating can be an escape from exploring deeper within (I wrote about it on my blog, just do a search for ‘polyamory’ on my website) – connecting with many can be an escape from facing fears. But connecting with multiple people can also be a deep dive into creating a more secure attachment system. A sharing of my current personal explorations.

Choose People Who Choose You

This image is the background of my WhatsApp conversations. ‘Choose People Who Choose You’, in big, fat, bold letters. It’s a constant reminder to myself to be me. It’s so easy to edit ourselves for the purpose of being liked. I guess it’s an implicit trait most of us have. We’re social beings, we need our herd, our tribe, to be safe and survive. So we need to be accepted, liked, or even loved. I have witnessed it in myself so often. I would walk into a room, and straightly adapt my words, posture, and behavior to the people I’m with. To a certain degree that’s beautiful, as respecting a culture or family habits. But it’s different when it takes…

To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved, Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me. Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers – or something in between and it may change every day. You’re not my partner As I am my own main ally I need to learn to hold myself When I’m celebrating and when I’m afraid. Yes, I am desiring a King Someone to stand next to me and to sit on the throne that stands next to mine. I dust it off every now and then, but I don’t rush to fill it as it…

(Video) Attraction

(Video) Experiences in Non-Monogamy: Finding myself as a Secure Center

(Video) Fuck Falling in Love

(Video) It’s Okay to Ask for Confirmation

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