The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

The Unexpected (emotional) Side Effects of Crowdfunding

I launched crowdfunding campaign. You might have noticed it. I did expect reactions from people. People who would want to help out, and people who wouldn’t. But I didn’t expect that much reaction from inside me. Is this desire allowed? It all started with a desire. In my case, a desire for space for my own. Our house is small. We have three kids packed in one room, a tiny work space that my partner, his computer and administration files occupy. My space is a desk in the living room. The same living room where my kids play and fight and where people come and go. I’m the kind of person who needs time and space alone to stay sane.…

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Men: Why she hates your messages – the brutal truth

Why she hates your messages

This article is based upon my experiences with men contacting me. It’s absolutely generalized. I challenge you read it and to feel what touches you. Do you recognize my experiences? Do you feel triggered or offended? See the next paragraphs as my present to you. I tell you what works for me and the wise, strong, gorgeous women I see around me. Let these paragraphs penetrate you. Is this about you? Keeping violation intact through silence Too many women are silent when they feel offended by men, as well as I’m sure there are men feeling offended by women or other men and keeping their mouths tightly shut. By being silent we keep the vicious circle of hurtful communication and…

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Do you fake your pleasure?

Do you fake your pleasure?

Humans are innate pleasers, always ready to put an effort into pleasing others. We laugh at jokes that aren’t funny to not embarrass the speaker, we kiss our cologne-smelling aunties on the cheek and we keep going to birthdays of people we don’t even like. Our sex life is no exception. Research shows that 70% of the women and 30% of men fake orgasms. But I believe that all of us fake pleasure in sex in a much more subtle way. The approval addiction Humans are addicts for love and attention. Without approval, many of us feel insecure, unloved and lonely. The amount of approval we need varies from a little to constant approval-seeking. How did we end up this…

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How a detox can increase food addiction

Food addiction

I have been experimenting with nutritional supplements and doing a detox over the last weeks. One of my intentions for doing this detox, was breaking with my eating addictions. I hoped that staying away from sugar, wheat (carbs altogether) and fat for 21 days would rewire my brain into an addictive free, relaxed state. Partly it did. The cravings were still there, but they felt soft and I could handle them well most of the time. I knew I wouldn’t give into them, as I promised myself to fulfill these 21 days. But towards day 21, cravings increased. My mind found openings and options inside the challenge where I could give into the cravings. I had a conscious and very…

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How a binge during my detox made me love myself more

Detox challenge

Confession time. I had a huge binge on chocolate last night. During my detox. Over the last days I felt how little things made me feel like a loser. I was constantly subconsciously shaming myself for feeling hungry, for making my yugh-shakes into something that tasted quite alright with some stevia, cinnamon and cocoa. I was silently judging my cravings for sweets and nuts. Last night I was tired of being so tough towards myself. For 20 days I had been eating nothing but kale and other green veggies. And those proteine shakes. It was enough. So I challenged myself lovingly: ‘If you will go for sweets tonight babe, can you do that without feeling guilty? Can you enjoy it?…

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Do you need to have it all?

Do you need to have it all?

Can you smell a delicious dish and not eat it? Can you enjoy an intense hug without needing to kiss her? Can you enjoy kissing her without needing to have sex? Can you have sex without needing an orgasm? So often we are one step ahead in our head, not being present in this current moment. We forget to enjoy what is in front of us, what we have, and trade it for thoughts of how it could be better, leaving us unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Try it today: be present with what is there. If you find your thoughts moving to the next step, smile at yourself, acknowledge your longing, and see if you can let go. It just might…

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My Detox Challenge

Detox challenge

I decided to do a detoxing diet. Starting today, I’m stuffing myself with chocolate, croissants, avocado and more chocolate. Let me explain… Physical reasons for detoxing I have done a lot of work on accepting my body over the years, and come quite far. I accept my curves and my belly, which is not as tight or flat as before three pregnancies.  But I also feel that I’m not being very caring for my body. I’m indulging on chocolate almost daily and not always as dedicated to my yoga practice as I aim to be. I also believe that years of using antibiotics every now and then (last time for two months in a row to control my chronic skin…

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Are you a food addict like me?

Are you a food addict like me?

Many of us are addicted to food and we don’t know it. According to Food Addicts Anonymous “Food addiction manifests itself in the uncontrollable craving for excess food that follows the ingestion of refined carbohydrates, primarily sugar and flour substances that are quickly metabolized and turned into sugar in the bloodstream.” Now it wouldn’t be so bad if we could eat that chocolate chip cookies or Ben and Jerry’s Utter Peanut Butter Clutter Cookie Core without consequences, but: “Due to those uncontrollable cravings, a food addict’s quality of life deteriorates when he or she eats sugar, flour or wheat. It can deteriorate physically, emotionally, socially and/or spiritually.” Oh darn. Am I a food addict? I eat healthy, mostly vegan and…

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(Poem#15) I am responsible

I am responsible

It’s so easy, Fucking myself up, Unease raging through me, Telling myself there’s trouble Everywhere.   It’s so easy, Feeling left out, Left behind, Life a conspiracy Against me.   It’s so easy, Shutting myself out, Building up my walls, Lifting up the bridge – Alone.   It’s my choice, Always.   Love or fear; Open or close; Invite in or shut out; Live or survive.   I am responsible, I am courageaous, I am here, I am alive.   More than ever. ~ I am alone at home with my three young daughters while my partner is traveling and visiting beautiful people for a week. It’s so easy to get stuck in fear and panic. Would he forget me?…

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The raw truth about my open relationship

The raw truth about my open relationship

In my last article, ‘Letter to the women who sleep with my man’, I shared words with you that came from my heart. The message is real: I have shared words like these with sisters, and I would share them again. But the letter may also create the image that an open relationship, my open relationship, is all about rose buds and fairy tales. And that is not for real. I have written about the challenges in polyamory before. In this article I will give you a glimpse into my life, into how I experience open relationships and polyamory, my pitfalls and what works for me to find my way back. My open relationship is the toughest and deepest path of…

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