What is unconditional love?

You know what love is, right? It’s that tingling feeling you feel for people that really touch your heart. Your kids, close friends… There are also things you love. Cars, hiking, watching television. You can also love an animal or the view from your balcony. Clearly, there are different kinds of love. For all types of love there is one common thing: love can be conditional or unconditional. Types of love The way you love you children or your partner differs from the way you love your favorite television program. But the way you love your children also differs from the way you love your best mate. I borrow a text my friend Koreen Clements wrote on this topic (I recommend her…

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Do I have to change myself?

There are things I want differently in my life. I want myself to grow and develop. I wish for changes. But changing is something I’d rather avoid. Can I change myself and my life without changing? Guess what will happen when you do what you always did. You get what you always got. If you really want change, you have to change. You have to be the change. But changing is scary! What’s the worst thing that can happen? Your life will change? But that’s what you want! 😉 We all have this imaginary space around us, called our comfort zone. As long as we stay inside that comfort zone, we feel safe. We know what’s in there, we know…

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Love isn’t a competition, it’s additive

Think this over for a while: Is love something which comes at certain volumes that need to be shared among the people around you? Or is there enough for everybody? Many times I have heard parents telling me about the love they feel for their kids. When expecting their second child, young parents often worry whether they would have enough love for their expected newborn. They love their first kid so much, how could they love another child just as much? When the second child is born, they realize there is nothing to worry about. There is enough love for all kids. Love isn’t a pie of which all people around you get a share. Love is an unlimited source…

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How many compromises will you make?

According to Wikipedia, to compromise means to … make a deal between different parties where each party gives up part of their demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. In other words, you give up what you really want because people surrounding you want you to. Or, you give up what you really want because you believe people surrounding you want you to. We are usually taught that compromises are an inescapable part of our relationships. I do not agree 🙂 We need compromises when we feel insecure about ourselves and our loved ones. We compromise we should not be affectionate…

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Does love at first sight exist?

Can you love someone the moment you look him or her into the eyes for the very first time? Let’s go back in time to the point when we were young and watched Disney movies. We all did, didn’t we? We watched Lady and the Tramp, Beauty and the Beast and several fairy tales where the prince kisses the princess. The message seemed to be that for each and everyone of us there is a perfect partner, a once in a lifetime Mr(s). Right to wait for. Or to actively, maybe desperately, look for. And when we would meet the person, we’d know. It would be love at first sight. What a sad belief that is! If there is only…

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My open relationship

We all look for love. We all look for excitement. How can we keep our need for exciting moments fulfilled when we are in a long term relationship where we hold back ourselves and our partners, trying to fit in the picture society created of people and their relationships? All people seem to be looking for the perfect partner. Dating sites are very popular, although old fashioned flirting in disco’s and bars never ceased popularity either. Girls gossip with their friends about boys, and the boys pay attention carefully. Who will ask who to go to the prom? Who dares to ask for a secret kiss? Who is getting married? Finally… we meet our perfect match. The ideal man or…

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Life is fun

What is the meaning of life? Why are we on earth, why do we exist? Are we here to suffer? Watching television, reading the newspapers or glossy magazines, it seems that, indeed, we are here to get hurt. To feel pain. We read about war, about homicide. We watch programs where there might be one winner at the cost of many losers. We feel ourselves less miserable because there are so many others more miserable than we are. Everything is a choice. We choose how we feel. We choose the rain to influence our mood. Or we smile, independent of any kind of weather. We choose to watch tv, to read magazines full of gossip and judging stories about celebrities. It’s…

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Our Hearts don’t Judge

At many moments throughout the day we form an opinion. About the clothes people wear, about the book we are reading, about the train that is late, about our colleagues at work or about the weather. Are minds work at full power. Imagine yourself looking at a painting. Someone walks up to you and asks: “What do you think of this painting?” There are two ways you can answer this question. Answers from the mind The first way of answering is answering from the mind. You might say you like the painting because of the techniques well used, or the distribution of colors over the canvas. You could also answer you don’t like the painting for the same reasons. What…

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