Choose People Who Choose You

This image is the background of my WhatsApp conversations. ‘Choose People Who Choose You’, in big, fat, bold letters. It’s a constant reminder to myself to be me. It’s so easy to edit ourselves for the purpose of being liked. I guess it’s an implicit trait most of us have. We’re social beings, we need our herd, our tribe, to be safe and survive. So we need to be accepted, liked, or even loved. I have witnessed it in myself so often. I would walk into a room, and straightly adapt my words, posture, and behavior to the people I’m with. To a certain degree that’s beautiful, as respecting a culture or family habits. But it’s different when it takes…

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(Video) Honoring my Hunger: Letting Go of Deeper Layers of ‘Too-Muchness’

It started with feeling too much by feeling not enough. I tackled that in the process of stepping more into my power. But the fear of being too much to another being is still present. How does that manifest, and what to do with it? Please follow and like us:

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(Video) It’s Okay to Ask for Confirmation

I believe it’s okay to ask confirmation from people when you feel insecure. Here are two reasons why. Please follow and like us:

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I’m a Yummy Woman

I love my body. I love my shapeshifting s’xuality and sensuality. I’m honoring my hunger, my animals, and my stillness. I feel free in my body that may not look average, but is mine. She’s sensitive and playful, wise and strong. I may not appreciate her always, and yes we traveled from far. The scars you see on my skin are only a few of the scars I carry. But my eyes tell you the story of a woman who didn’t hold on to her scars. They show you the bright twinkle of pleasure and the sheer delight of being alive. My breasts and heart tell you about the big capacity I have for loving. Wild, unconditional and fully. There’s…

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“Do You Still Feel Insecure and Bad about Yourself?”

“When is the last time you were insecure or thought bad about yourself?” People ask me this question often. And it seems they expect an answer defining a moment way back in the past. But it’s very much in the present. Every day there are moments in which I think I’m a fraud. I know nothing. There’s nothing of value I have to bring to the world. That I’m impossible to love and not sexy at all. And I don’t think it will ever fully go. And it’s okay. I think we only get better at dealing with these voices. Instead of suppressing them, we get to know them and what it is they’re trying to protect us from. There…

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Bufo – Dying to Grow

“I know you have worked with medicine before, but have you ever done Bufo, the toad?” This question came by often, with the addition that even when you have worked with Ayahuasca and Kambo, Bufo is something else. The stories sounded so intense, that I never even really considered this one. Why would someone want to feel like they’re dying – for real? But then there was this message from someone I never met before: “Hey, we love what you bring to this world, and the medicines tell us to invite you. Would you come to our Bufo alvarius ceremony next week?” And of course, it was that one free day between the madness of Christmas and Newyear, in a…

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I am Love

Whatever you do Whoever you are There will be implications. As you embrace more of your own juiciness, power, explicitness, and beauty – the stronger the responses will be. The cheering ánd the judging. The projections will increase exponentially. When you look grumpy, the world understands. When you look happy, the world thinks you’re crazy. (so darn spot on, Eugene) The more you create from the heart and belly, The more people will resonate and cheer Or shunt. Or ‘borrow’ your stuff more often without consent and credits than with. It’s probably how the world always worked And will continue working. Breathing through it all. Witnessing my inner parts feeling triggered, relax, wanting to be loved and seen for what I…

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Body Hair and Curves: What a Real Woman Looks Like

Body hair

There are so many social conditioning around sexuality, our bodies, our looks, how we present ourselves both to others as well as to ourselves. While shedding layers of all this, it’s so interesting how we can re-discover ourselves every day again. Take the body hair thing. When you think about it: how weird is it that hair on a man’s body is often considered sexy (look at the whole beard hype happening at the moment), while the hair on a woman’s body is often considered groce. I mean, WTF? And then the whole body size thing. Women should have flat bellies and perky boobies and all that. Because that’s what a woman is supposed to look like. Well, I don’t…

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The Longing for Big Love

Alphachanneling

It’s okay to long for Big Love, dear. To feel that trembling longing in your belly that lets you know, from deep inside, that this is something real this Big Love is something that exists and it’s there, for you, too. To feel that overwhelming sadness in your chest that heart-shattering contraction of feeling that it’s out of reach just the tiniest bit. To feel that confusion in your head Are you ready? Is this the moment? Is there something wrong in my relationship/s? Then remember: Confusion is part of Big Love as it invites you to look deeper into your wounds, your readiness to fully step up for what it is that you want, to not accept, any manipulation,…

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Being a Sexual Person #2

Standing in the middle of an over-crowded train on my way home, another workshop facilitated in Amsterdam behind me. The people in the train discuss fried snacks with huge pupils. So much passion about burgers. Some are wearing sunglasses, even though it’s near midnight. A huge dance event in the city is probably the source of this outflux of people. I’m looking at my own reflection in the dark window. For so many years I thought I was weird and ugly. Sometimes I still do. That underlying belief of being weird. Different. Unwanted. The clumsy one who never wears the right clothes. Will it ever leave? I see a beautiful face, a proud woman wearing an amazing coat. Glitter on…

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