To the Men I Love

Dear Beloved,   Thank you for opening up to me For witnessing me in all that I am For your courage to open your heart and soul for me.   Our love may come in different shapes as friends or lovers – or something in between and it may change every day.   You’re not my partner As I am my own main ally I need to learn to hold myself When I’m celebrating and when I’m afraid.   Yes, I am desiring a King Someone to stand next to me and to sit on the throne that stands next to mine.   I dust it off every now and then, but I don’t rush to fill it as it…

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(Video) It’s Okay to Ask for Confirmation

I believe it’s okay to ask confirmation from people when you feel insecure. Here are two reasons why. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) The Patterns in Insecure Relating

Patterns in relating

The players may change, but the play stays the same. Have you ever noticed that? Even though you may be working on yourself, some patterns in your relationship game seen to stay. I’m mainly anxiously attached, with a wired-in fear of abandonment. During a week long retreat I was in, I got my patterns played out loud and clear. In my face. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) The Fine Line Between States

When are we avoiding, and when are we learning to show boundaries? When are we controlling, and where are we being clear with our desires? When are we facing our fears, and when are we pushing ourselves too much? When are we learning, and when are we surviving? It’s such a fine line between both, and frankly: often both options are true (and false) in the same moment. So how do we know where we are?   Please follow and like us:

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(Poem #20) The Books You Devoured

Leaving it all behind worries, sorrows, and doubts Letting your soul fly beyond the vast skies Allowing the unfolding of mysteries and stories That you never read in the books you devoured The movies you saw Or what they told you life would be like Holding the pencil and the eraser You are the biggest artist of them all. Please follow and like us:

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Bufo – Dying to Grow

“I know you have worked with medicine before, but have you ever done Bufo, the toad?” This question came by often, with the addition that even when you have worked with Ayahuasca and Kambo, Bufo is something else. The stories sounded so intense, that I never even really considered this one. Why would someone want to feel like they’re dying – for real? But then there was this message from someone I never met before: “Hey, we love what you bring to this world, and the medicines tell us to invite you. Would you come to our Bufo alvarius ceremony next week?” And of course, it was that one free day between the madness of Christmas and Newyear, in a…

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(Video) Do I still believe in Non-Monogamy?

After more than 7 years in all kinds of relationship constellations, devoting big chunks of my time to relationship dynamics, attachment patterns, and coaching numerous people: how do I feel about non-monogamy? Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Being Single

About why it happens to many of us that as soon as we step into a relationship we feel way less autonomous, powerful and amazing as when we’re single. About the use (or not) of labels and the implications for our nervous system. Please follow and like us:

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‘Mum, there’s hair under your arm!’

My youngest daughter, aged 7, hugged me yesterday and yelled in an amused, surprised way: “Mom, there’s hair under your arm!” And I told her about female bodies, how they grow, develop, change. That it’s absolutely normal that hair grows at certain places. That we can choose to remove it, and choose to let it be. That right now, I love it to be there. And I tell my girls that it’s normal that their bodies get curves. That the straight line from their shoulders to their hips will look more like a violin than a plank. That their booties grow fuller. And that it’s all absolutely normal and beautiful. I tell them many times every day how beautiful I…

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