I fucking love food

You heard me. I fucking love food. I did a detox where I ate 500 kcal a day for three weeks and felt much better. Until my food cravings came back worse then before. And then I read this humble article about why detox might not be beneficial for you. I love consciously indulging in life. I love food. I love my body. And somewhere there should be a balance between feeling healthy, being healthy and life’s treats (read: my current fetish for chocolate and peanutbutter). I don’t know what’s best practice. I know there’s a fine line between the masculine, focussed and determined approach (strict lifestyle modifications but also feeling tensed about everything I put into my mouth) and…

Continue reading

How a detox can increase food addiction

Food addiction

I have been experimenting with nutritional supplements and doing a detox over the last weeks. One of my intentions for doing this detox, was breaking with my eating addictions. I hoped that staying away from sugar, wheat (carbs altogether) and fat for 21 days would rewire my brain into an addictive free, relaxed state. Partly it did. The cravings were still there, but they felt soft and I could handle them well most of the time. I knew I wouldn’t give into them, as I promised myself to fulfill these 21 days. But towards day 21, cravings increased. My mind found openings and options inside the challenge where I could give into the cravings. I had a conscious and very…

Continue reading

How a binge during my detox made me love myself more

Detox challenge

Confession time. I had a huge binge on chocolate last night. During my detox. Over the last days I felt how little things made me feel like a loser. I was constantly subconsciously shaming myself for feeling hungry, for making my yugh-shakes into something that tasted quite alright with some stevia, cinnamon and cocoa. I was silently judging my cravings for sweets and nuts. Last night I was tired of being so tough towards myself. For 20 days I had been eating nothing but kale and other green veggies. And those proteine shakes. It was enough. So I challenged myself lovingly: ‘If you will go for sweets tonight babe, can you do that without feeling guilty? Can you enjoy it?…

Continue reading

Do you need to have it all?

Do you need to have it all?

Can you smell a delicious dish and not eat it? Can you enjoy an intense hug without needing to kiss her? Can you enjoy kissing her without needing to have sex? Can you have sex without needing an orgasm? So often we are one step ahead in our head, not being present in this current moment. We forget to enjoy what is in front of us, what we have, and trade it for thoughts of how it could be better, leaving us unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Try it today: be present with what is there. If you find your thoughts moving to the next step, smile at yourself, acknowledge your longing, and see if you can let go. It just might…

Continue reading

Detox week 1 – What cravings for cashew nuts teach me about life

Craving for cashews

Sixth day into my detox challenge and of eating 500 kcal (vegan, no fat, no carbs) a day and having the worst cravings so far. I want chocolate, that cheese I see every time I open the fridge and most of al cashew nuts. It’s so easy to get completely lost in feeling hungry and craving food. And although the craving is different, the situation is so similar to when I get lost in emotions like fear or insecurity. The problem (‘I can’t have the food I want’) feels lethal. It’s like the whole world turns around this sole thing, and I will never ever be happy again unless something outside me gives me what I need. When I ran away…

Continue reading