On being who you are

On being who you are

When we are talking about who you are, we’re not talking about the being you are. You are vast, much larger than what you perceive as ‘you’. The ‘you’ as an identity is an illusion. In the web of interconnectedness you are a knot, a part of something huge – which you are also as a whole. To understand this concept, you need to look and to feel beyond the ‘you’. The body may be experienced as something with an inside and an outside. ‘Part of’ and ‘Not part of’. But your body is not a container of flesh, thoughts and experiences. Your body is the vehicle in which vastness moves. Look into another persons’ eyes and feel how you…

Continue reading

My boyfriend kissed someone else

Do you need to have it all?

For the first time in months my boyfriend and I were at the same place, at the same time, on the same dance floor. Together with the other participants of the workshop we just finished an intense exercise. I had found myself screaming back and forth with a man, releasing a lot of energy that felt stuck in my throat. How liberating! When I ecstatically turned around, one meter away from me, my boyfriend was passionately kissing a beautiful woman. Statistics1 tell us that over 50% of the people in a relationship cheat at least once. That means the chance that your partner did cheat on you is larger than the chance s/he didn’t. An average affair lasts 2 years.…

Continue reading

(Poem #2) Silence

That moment when my rattling ego soothes. That moment when my inner child feels seen. That moment when each word is only a story. That moment where everything is connected. That moment when compassion becomes more than a word. That moment when emotions don’t stick anymore. That moment when all that remains is peaceful, utter, silence. Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

How to deal with other people’s emotions

How to deal with other people's emotions

Do you recognize this? You are somewhere where people aren’t feeling very happy. Maybe you’re waiting in a queue for the cash register to pay your groceries. People around you seem to be hurried. They are grumpy, annoyed when someone uses more time than strictly necessary to pay. Or you’re sitting on a train and someone is having an argument over the phone. You feel all your happy feelings leave your body. The muscles in your neck tighten. You clench your jaws. Why are these people doing this to you? Can’t they go somewhere else to express their impatience or anger? During a day there are many moments where you are exposed to the feelings, emotions and behavior of other…

Continue reading

Love the child in you

Sometimes I feel hurt or frightened in a situation, and I’m not so certain why. There are many emotions flowing through me like a storm, catching me by surprise and leaving me breathless. What happened? Why did this situation touch me as intensely as it did? It feels like the response in my body is in no way corresponding to the intensity of the situation. It feels like the person I am now isn’t the one reacting, but some hidden, core emotion that was stored behind huge walls of defense and ignorance. What happened? Feeling small There is a part of us that never grows up. The inner child in us makes us playful, lighthearted and carefree. But a child…

Continue reading

Judging others is about you

Judging others is about you

I catch myself judging time after time. Even when I’m very aware and even when I try not to do so, I still judge people. I notice that I only judge when I don’t feel well. I need to be negative about someone’s clothes or behavior, just to make myself feel good. But it never works. It actually makes me feel worse and also makes my mind act like a whirlwind, spending a lot of energy being wound up about others’ lives. Why do we judge? When you judge someone, you try to place them below yourself. You seek arguments why you are better than the other. Why would you try and do that? Because you are feeling insecure. You…

Continue reading

How to take responsibility in difficult situations

I could feel something standing in between my boyfriend and me. I wasn’t sure what exactly caused this tension. But it was there. And it felt pretty nasty. In the past I would have blamed him. I would take offense because of him not putting his shoes where I thought he should put them. Use these minor events to let the tension escalate into a fight. We would both feel bad. Because we didn’t get to the source of the tension, the situation wouldn’t improve. If we’d continue on that path, our relationship would become fragile. That much I learned. So I didn’t blame him. Instead, I took 100% responsibility and held myself, and only myself, responsible for the situation.…

Continue reading

Feel like crying

Some days things just don’t work out. Emotions swirl around. They don’t have a clear reason or source. They’re just there. Life seems tough. It makes me feel like crying. What’s wrong? Nothing. Everything. I don’t know! I’m so happy with the life I live. I’m so grateful for the abundance it brings me. Still tears run down my face. I want to be free of worries. Feel relaxed in everything I do. See everything and everybody as a source of blissful joy. See each day as an infinite source of possibilities. Enjoy every split second of it, smiling broadly. That’s not how I feel today. Today I feel there’s not enough. There’s not enough time for me to be…

Continue reading

What is unconditional love?

You know what love is, right? It’s that tingling feeling you feel for people that really touch your heart. Your kids, close friends… There are also things you love. Cars, hiking, watching television. You can also love an animal or the view from your balcony. Clearly, there are different kinds of love. For all types of love there is one common thing: love can be conditional or unconditional. Types of love The way you love you children or your partner differs from the way you love your favorite television program. But the way you love your children also differs from the way you love your best mate. I borrow a text my friend Koreen Clements wrote on this topic (I recommend her…

Continue reading