Do I Feel Too Much?

Do I Feel Too Much?

Maybe you are like me. I always felt a lot, not sure where all these sensations came from I could feel overwhelmed often and easily. Feeling shy was a good mechanism to protect myself from opening too much and feeling even more. And now, many years later, I feel even more. Give me a room full of people and I can tell you exactly where everyone is at. I can tell you where it hurts and why it contracts and why you are afraid. All these processes of shedding layers of protection mechanisms and ego strategies, of getting to know my monthly cycles and emotional waves, of balancing my introvert and extravert, of checking in with sisters and holding myself.…

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How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

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What is Emotional Availability Anyway? (video)

The false belief that women don’t like sex (and the ones who do are scary)

In my last article, I spoke about being tired of attracting emotionally unavailable men. I received many questions about the topic. What do I want from men? Is it all his fault? And most of all: what does it mean, to be emotionally available of unavailable? To me, emotional unavailability is not, like, a judgment towards this particular man (and men before him). But a mismatch in what our desires are when it comes to emotional/physical/etc availability. And that mismatch, because I wanted more than he, felt like a lack/unavailability to me. What I want to say, is that the amount of availability we all need differs and that it can feel like unavailability to the one with the larger desire…

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I’m so Tired of Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men (video)

Tired of Attracting Emotional Unavailable Men

Originally posted on Elephant Journal. Dear Lover, Or should I say former lover? Ex-lover? I thought that when I let go of you, I was letting go of love: Of that luscious feeling of being held in a warm blanket of never-ending cuddles and soft, smooching kisses, of butterflies, and feeling as blissful as I did looking into your eyes. But you know what happened? It feels like I lifted those rose-tinted glasses from my eyes and see the world more like it is: You and me as the people who we are in this moment—and not the fantasy I had of who we could be together. It happens, right? That when two people meet they only see the beauty in each other.…

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(Poem #19) Today I Choose

today I choose to live

Today I choose to bow my head from respect instead of ignorance, as I acknowledge all that is happening as an opportunity for growth, even if it’s unpleasant. Today I choose pain over suffering, as it is my choice to hold on to whatever hurts me – or to feel and let go. Today I choose to dance and sing, as it frees me more than it scares me. Today I choose to be gentle and soft with myself, as I realize it’s my responsibility to take care of me. Today I choose courage over fear, as walking the unknown path is more exciting than sitting still in a safe haven. Today I choose love over hate, as opening my…

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Unlocking Your Potential

Unlocking Your Potential

Two and a half day of a clear schedule. No kids, no sessions, no workshops, but for me in my little refuge to work on creative new ideas I had. A rarity and I was looking forward to it a lot. I made myself a cup of tea, grabbed all my colored pens and a large white sheet of paper, sat down, and nothing happened. Well, some things did happen: my body felt a bit tensed. My shoulders hunched, and my mind was both pushing me start ‘being productive’ as well as trying to find any possible distraction. Automatically I grabbed my phone, as an almost unconscious voice in my head told me my friend might have sent me that…

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(Poem #18) You There in the Mirror

You there in the mirror

Hey you, you there in the mirror, Reflecting me in all my facets. Sparkling painfully bright, Hurting my eyes And my heart. And yes, it cracks further open Allowing more light But casting darker shadows I didn’t see before. Hey you, you there in the mirror, My own reflection Or your own person reminding me Of all the flaws and perfection But most of all: The courage that it takes to be alive This neverending alchemistic process Of turning anything into gold. It’s true. Everything can turn into gold, and gold can turn into anything. Let’s celebrate the pain and the joy The bliss and despair But most of all acknowledge that courage To take another step, To tumble down…

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How Many of Your Friends Did You See – Naked?

Naked

Naked. Think about it: How many of your dearest friends have seen you naked? Of how many of your closest friends to you know if they have a soft skin? Or moles on their bellies, or freckles of their shoulders? How many of your closest family members have you seen naked? Do you know the shape of their breasts, or where they have hair? Have you ever seen their scars? Do you even know how they really feel about their bodies? Have you ever held them really close? Have you ever been held by them really close? I’m glowing right now. The afterglow of an evening with three friends, where we massaged each other. Six hands on one body. Naked.…

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Owning Fear

Owning Fear

When you fear something, it can be tempting not to deal with it by yourself, i.e. to ‘leak’ fear onto others. When we talk about what scares us, do we actually cry for help? Are we leaning onto another, hoping they are a hero, saving us from despair? Maybe we seek recognition for our feelings. Whatever it is we do, we depend on others to get away from our fears. But there’s an invitation. An invitation to embrace fear and keep it. Not to hold it tight forever, but to take responsibility for our fears, to deal with them within ourselves, standing on our own legs. Does that mean we cannot ask for support, safety or empathy? No, we can.…

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Does this process of personal growth make my life easier?

Personal Growth

So, does this life of investing in personal growth, facing fears, embracing all emotions, letting go of insecurities and things in general and all of that make me a happier person? No. Not in the general accepted sense of the word. Does it make my life easier then? Neither. Lots of people define the quality of their life by the amount of happines and joy they perceive. But that would be accepting only part of the spectrum. You want something, but you actually only want half of it. It’s like wanting to go on holiday and only accepting the days that the sun shines, and cursing when it rains. It’s like wanting pizza and cursing the crust. All the processes…

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