At many moments throughout the day we form an opinion. About the clothes people wear, about the book we are reading, about the train that is late, about our colleagues at work or about the weather. Are minds work at full power.
Imagine yourself looking at a painting. Someone walks up to you and asks: “What do you think of this painting?” There are two ways you can answer this question.
Answers from the mind
The first way of answering is answering from the mind. You might say you like the painting because of the techniques well used, or the distribution of colors over the canvas. You could also answer you don’t like the painting for the same reasons. What happens is that you give an explanation that is based on your ego. You might want to convince the person who asked the question about your expertise of art, to teach the person something he didn’t know yet and exhibit your excellence.
Answers from the heart
The other way of answering is from a heart connection. Open your heart to the painting, let go of resistance and prejudice, and welcome the feeling the painting triggers in you. To the question how you like the painting you now might answer “It’s beautiful” or “It makes me angry”, without judging the painting or the painter.
The way we approach people is identical. Meeting a new person, we can immediately form an opinion based on their looks, their clothes or the shape of their face. We can decide we don’t like a person because he wears a mustache, and we hate mustaches.
We forget that under this mustache, there might be an amazing person who is a great cook, and you are just looking for a person who can help you with practicing new recipes. You might be a guy who prefers women as partner, and avoid gay men. Forgetting that this gay man you walked by might be a fantastic conversation partner, teaching you about approaching women, because he developed dear friendships with many of them.
Try to connect with people from your heart. Don’t just look at them, but really see them. Watch beyond the clothes and the mustache and try to connect from your heart. You might still decide this person isn’t the right match for you right now, but now you decided based on feelings, not on judgement. When you feel this person is a match for you, you will have established a great connection right from the start.
Outer appearance is something you get used to
A comedian once said: “Outer appearance is something you get used to”. The things you made your initial judgement on, are the same things you won’t even notice in a person when you know each other for a longer time. It’s that vibe, that heart connection that really matters in the long run.
Try this exercise to practice connecting from the heart: when you walk in the street or run your errands, try looking people in the eyes. Try not to look at their looks and clothes. Look beyond that. Truly see the beautiful person walking there. Then give that beautiful person a smile from deep within your heart. Some people might look away. They are not ready for this deep kind of connection. But some people will return your smile. All of a sudden a connection establishes. You will feel the vibration, the energy. It will make you smile even more. 🙂
Open your heart. It will truly enlighten your day!