(Video) The Patterns in Insecure Relating

Patterns in relating

The players may change, but the play stays the same. Have you ever noticed that? Even though you may be working on yourself, some patterns in your relationship game seen to stay. I’m mainly anxiously attached, with a wired-in fear of abandonment. During a week long retreat I was in, I got my patterns played out loud and clear. In my face. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Coming Back to safety

Coming back to safety

A few days ago I made a video in which I shared how my nervous system was shaken up by meeting someone.The sense of safety and welcoming blew me straight into an anxious response. Now, a few days later, I feel completely calm and relaxed again. Let me share you about this process too. P.s. this is the link to the previous video Please follow and like us:

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Self-Care and Structure

Self-care and structure

I used to be so bad at self-care. Or at creating structure. I’m a person with a lot of energy. That means I can create a lot (while being a mum and whatnot) – it also means that I can procrastinate and be in my own way like a boss. Being in my own way is arguably the most destructive thing in my world. I will escape into behavior that I think is supporting me (like mindless browsing on social media, eating sugary things) but drains me more than anything else. To channel the intensity of feelings and energy that I have into creation, I need some structure. They may come in the form of deadlines or appointments or the…

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(Video) The Response of my Fearful Nervous System to Safety

Fearful nervous system

The desire for feeling safe with other people is a very legitimate desire, and an antidote to the sometimes obsessive quest for facing fears, and challenging ourselves way beyond our comfort zone. But what happens when a nervous system that is wired in a sensitive way, and used to creating unsafe situations, is faced with safety? A very personal case study. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) The Fine Line Between States

When are we avoiding, and when are we learning to show boundaries? When are we controlling, and where are we being clear with our desires? When are we facing our fears, and when are we pushing ourselves too much? When are we learning, and when are we surviving? It’s such a fine line between both, and frankly: often both options are true (and false) in the same moment. So how do we know where we are?   Please follow and like us:

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“Do You Still Feel Insecure and Bad about Yourself?”

“When is the last time you were insecure or thought bad about yourself?” People ask me this question often. And it seems they expect an answer defining a moment way back in the past. But it’s very much in the present. Every day there are moments in which I think I’m a fraud. I know nothing. There’s nothing of value I have to bring to the world. That I’m impossible to love and not sexy at all. And I don’t think it will ever fully go. And it’s okay. I think we only get better at dealing with these voices. Instead of suppressing them, we get to know them and what it is they’re trying to protect us from. There…

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(Poem #20) The Books You Devoured

Leaving it all behind worries, sorrows, and doubts Letting your soul fly beyond the vast skies Allowing the unfolding of mysteries and stories That you never read in the books you devoured The movies you saw Or what they told you life would be like Holding the pencil and the eraser You are the biggest artist of them all. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Do I still believe in Non-Monogamy?

After more than 7 years in all kinds of relationship constellations, devoting big chunks of my time to relationship dynamics, attachment patterns, and coaching numerous people: how do I feel about non-monogamy? Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Being Single

About why it happens to many of us that as soon as we step into a relationship we feel way less autonomous, powerful and amazing as when we’re single. About the use (or not) of labels and the implications for our nervous system. Please follow and like us:

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